Friday, November 14, 2008

So I went to the doctor yesterday and here is the good news—I’ve lost 5lbs! The bad news is that my clothes still don’t fit. I have been increasingly disgusted with the way that I look lately. Yes, I have had 3 kids. Yes, I have a thyroid disorder and have almost no metabolism. I don’t feel like this is a sufficient excuse for looking this way though; for feeling this way. I’ve been able to deal with the weight gain in the past; but now looking at my face, and how fat it looks, I can’t even deal. Yes, I hate the way I look.

So what do I do about it?

The obvious answer is to exercise and eat better. The obvious problem is that I am ridiculously lazy. I have good intentions of getting up and exercising in the morning. I have good intentions of eating a healthy breakfast. And then, I just don’t. Because the other options are more convenient.

How exactly do I break this cycle?

After Lucy was born, I started going to the gym at 5am, at least 3 days a week. It worked out well and I made good progress. I’ve since cancelled my gym membership because once the nice weather started up again, I stopped going. I told myself “why the hell bother??” since I knew we wanted to have another baby anyway.

What is the convenient and painless way to lose weight? In order for it to work do I need to go all gung ho kamikaze on it?

So here I am faced with the facts:

• I look terrible
• I feel terrible about myself
• I am running out of excuses
• In the past 15 years, I have almost doubled my weight
• If I ran in to someone who I haven’t seen since high school, I would be embarrassed.

It’s apparent that something needs to be done. I need to kick myself in the ass and get moving here. I want to be healthy. I want to look better. I want to feel better about myself. (honestly, I wouldn’t mind being considered a MILF…lol)

I just need to know HOW!

8 comments:

LoriD said...

It's so hard when you're working full time and coming home to three little kids. I think you just take it one step at a time. Like, resolve to eat a healthy breakfast every day this week. Next week, eat a healthy breakfast and take a 15 minute walk at your lunch break (maybe in the mall if it's too cold outside). Just add little things each time and be a little easier on yourself.

Mommy Daisy said...

Wow, I have a lot of the same things going on for me. I understand. And really it's not a matter of HOW it's a matter of motivation. Am I right? That's it for me anyway.

I just started reading a blog called Escape From Obesity
. Wow, she says some profound things. Just read her last few posts. Maybe it will help knowing that you're not the only one out there. Maybe you and I need to start something together and keep each other motivated. Maybe there are other people who need to join us. Maybe I'll just give you a hug and say I like you no matter what.

Nowheymama said...

I'll be interested to read what people write.

Maybe we can work out a way to all support each other in our efforts to be healthy.

Shelly Overlook said...

I share your total lack of motivation and fed up-edness about how I look. Sigh.

bananafana said...

oh so right there with you. The hardest part is just the time. I feel like I don't get enough with my kids as it is and I can't imagine giving any of it up . . .

it really would be fun to get a group together and set a goal for each week . . . but I still don't know if I'd do it regularly. *sigh*

Devan said...

I hear ya sister!

Bug-N-Bee said...

I wish I had some advice. Like lorid said you need to take it one step at a time. Take a 5 minute walk in the yard if you can't take 15. See if you can find an exercise bike on freecycle.com and ride it when you watch tv at night. Eat at least one really healthy meal each day.

You can do it!

Becca said...

Are you on thyroid medication? It helps!