Friday, May 30, 2008

Friday Free For All--The Random Mish Mosh of Things I Didn't Tell You This Week Edition

1. OH! So you wanted to hear actual details about my pregnancy related doctor’s visit this week? How rude of me! The hip pain and locking I’ve been experiencing is, in fact, sciatica. Who knew? I met the third and final doctor of my practice and she might be my favorite so far…she curses more than I do! She began documenting my chart re: the sciatica so that I can get out of work as soon as possible. Apparently, (according to her) “insurance companies typically don’t give a damn when it comes to pulling a woman from work because of sciatica. They’re all run by men who do not understand this pain.” So we’ll keep record of it and I’ll stick it out another week or two, and I’ll be done working. My insurance is pretty lenient though; I was pulled for a hemorrhoid the last time around….
2. Speaking of embarrassing pregnancy symptoms, I had a sneeze stuck all day yesterday. I kept getting the “ha ha….” But no “CHOO!”. Finally, at about 10PM the choo up and surprised me, and I, well, peed a little. The joys, right? What is the most embarrassing thing that happened to you while pregnant? For me, and nobody even knows, it was when I was 8-months pregnant with Lucy and we were in Virginia Beach. Our second night there, we decided to take Bud for a dip in the pool. I was amazed at how relaxing the water was; I felt light, and comfortable, and didn’t have 15lbs resting on my bladder. We stayed in for quite a while—I even stated for a bit once Hub and Bud were done. Getting out was the issue. Standing on the deck, all of the sudden my legs were warm. I thought “well what the…..did my water break??” Oh no. All of the pressure being back on my bladder caused me involuntarily pee. I couldn’t do anything but laugh hysterically, and be glad that nobody else was around. (The second most embarrassing pregnancy thing for me was Bud pulling down my whole shirt, from the neck, in the grocery store. There were exposed breasts involved. Maybe THIS is the most embarrassing…..)
3. I have developed a craving for anything containing apple compote. The Tim Horton’s by our house has a delicious apple cheese danish and I have had to set a serious limit on myself to 2 per day. I’m glad that none of the others in my daily path carry them, for I would be in big trouble. McDonald’s apple pies do not figure in to my 2 per day limit, in case you were wondering.
4. Lucy has taken to a fun new game where she asks such questions as “what if I turned in to a table?” or “what if I turned in to the ceiling?” I’ve taken to wanting to hurl myself out the window.
5. We took a really fun trip to Canada’s Wonderland yesterday, which is actually where Dora and Diego live. Spongebob was visiting from the Ocean as well. Despite being stuck in traffic for 3 hours on the way home, it was a great day. We took it really slow, and let the kids do pretty much whatever they wanted. We were afraid Lucy would be too small for the rides, but she just made it. It was our first big outing without a stroller, and it was missed—not for kid-porting, but for storage. Olivia will give us reason to use it again soon though!!! Here are a few photos:

Bud Lucy and Me on a Swan Boat. (Alternate title: Holy Bazongas!!!!)

Watching Bud Ride

You should have heard him trash-talking the other kids! "You're going in to the wall...I'm slamming you in to it. You'll never hit my car!" and so on...

Diego is a bit creepy, no? A lot creepy? Yeah...

Didn't stop Lucy though....

BY FAR Lucy's favorite ride

My absolute favorite photo of the day

Here it is the right way though

6. I am back to work on Monday, so more regular posting will follow. I am committed to catching up on blogs now, before Hub gets home. It's impossible to get on the computer when he's home. I am fearing that my blog will be severely lacking while I'm on maternity leave.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

30 Weeks

Thirty Weeks is a real bitch--honestly. Think about it--I am not yet far enough where it could be "any time now", however I have been pregnant for 30 weeks. An especially long time given how soon I found out. I likened the third trimester to post partum last week, and as much as I'd like to tell you this vacation has been a party, it's mostly been ferociously dismal. Hub might use some more colorful words to describe it, but I will stick with dismal.

Lets keep the complaining to a minimum, shall we? Terrible cold, a bout of sciatica to end all sciatica, and just a general miserable disposition. Yes darlings, it is no mistake that I have not posted this week. You don't want to hear from me.

Here is the good- I have only gained 22lbs so far, my blood pressure is low, swelling is minimal, and for the first time in (my) pregnancy history, I can still wear my regular shoes.

Yes, the good. We have a pretty big day trip planned wit the kiddos tomorrow, so hopefully more of the good to come.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Since Swistle Brought It Up--On Weaning

Here in blog land, we all share our knowledge on certain subjects, give feedback and support each other on a daily basis. I am always taken aback when I am able to do the same thing in real life and in this situation, I really just feel so good about it.

My friend (and employee) Kel was scheduled to come back from her maternity leave last week. I got a frantic phone call 2 days before because she was trying to wean her baby girl and just could not do it. She was hysterical over it, could not stop crying, and the baby, while taking a bottle ok from others, would not even think about taking it from her.

She was adamant about not pumping at work; she just didn’t want to go through it. She thought that weaning was the best option—just get it done with overall. We talked for a long time about it; she knew that I had nursed both kids even after coming back to work and wondered if there was any way she could still do it without using a breast pump. She thought that she was going to hate breast-feeding and that it would be no big deal to stop, but the bond just took here completely by surprise.

I felt like, so pro-lactation in that moment, it was amazing. In short, this is what I told her:

Breastfeeding is different for everybody. I was able to nurse Bud until he was 8-months old, but by the 6-month mark was having a hard time pumping enough to keep him going. I gradually began to stop pumping at work, but still nursed him at home before and after work, as well as all weekend long. Nursing all weekend always boosted my milk supply and I was able to maintain long enough. By the 8-month mark, we were both ready to be done with it, and the transition to all bottle (he was on a lot of solids by then anyway) went very well (I got pregnant the next month, and my boobs never completely emptied, but I left that part out.) Lucy was different from birth. First, because of the NICU, I was unable to nurse her right away, and due to her hypoglycemia, they had to give her formula right off the bat. She came home with strict instructions for supplemental feeding for the first week or 2. She took the breast easily, but definitely preferred the bottle. Once I had gone back to work, and she to daycare, it became harder and harder to nurse her. She weaned herself at 4-months. I was ok with it because I knew I had done my best.

Bottom line is that this proves how different it can be from child to child and for sure from mom to mom. If you don’t want to fully wean her, you don’t have to. If you nurse her before you leave in the morning, and when you get home at night, your body will adjust your milk supply. You can more than likely easily do both. The decision is yours though; try not to feel like you are depriving your baby. Most importantly, the bond you have shared while nursing doesn’t go away just because you stop. You are the baby’s momma for life.

In the end, Kel used her stimulus money to take 2 more weeks off of work to see if she could work out some sort of routine. I’m hoping that everything works out the way she wants it to. And I’m glad she felt better after talking with me, the same way that I feel better after hearing from all of you all the time.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


We all do it, right? Personally, I love to compare any number of related things and then spend hours pondering what it all means.

Do you compare your kids though? If you don’t have kids, do you compare yourself to your siblings? I don’t mean in the sense of “Why can’t you be more like your sister?!”, but rather, traits—how they got them, and again, what does it mean?? I found myself doing it even with one child. Here was Bud, looking exactly like his daddy, but with my temperament. Similarly, there is Lucy, who resembles my family (but not me), but has the exact stubborn mentality of her father.

I love trying to make sense of it all; and think about what kind of people these kids will grow up to be.

Here are some of my favorite comparisons of my children:

• Bud’s hair is thick and dirty blonde. Lucy’s is super-fine and dark, dark brown.
• Bud’s eyebrows are so blonde they are almost white. Lucy’s are as dark as her hair, and she actually has a borderline uni-brow.
• Bud’s eyes are steely blue, except for when he is mischievous, at which point they are a bright, twinkly green. Lucy’s are hazel, gravitating toward brown when she is upset, green with yellow flecks when happy, and blue/green when she wears those types of colors.
• Bud eats nothing that is good for him. If you asked him his favorite foods, you would hear items along the lines of chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, sugar cereal, pop tarts and goldfish crackers. Lucy is the best eating child I have ever met. Her favorite foods? Broccoli, apples, salad (with green olives, cheese, croutons and ranch—and she will tell you if something is missing), cheerios and bananas in milk, and of course, fruit snacks.
• As he did in the womb, Bud sleeps stretched out on his back, hands above his head and toes pointed out. Lucy remained curled up for my entire pregnancy and sleeps the same today.
• Lucy can crack a t-ball like you would not believe. Bud would prefer to dance.

There are aspects in which the children are similar as well:

• Both are extremely well spoken and verbal for their ages. Both spoke full sentences before their first birthday.
• Both have the same speech sound delays in that “r” sounds like “w” and they have a slight lisp.
• They have the exact same (my) nose.
• They have the exact same (Hub’s) sticking out ears.
• They both have supreme antagonistic abilities and know exactly how to push our and the other’s buttons.

I think it’s going to be fun when Olivia comes, to see whether or not she will be a completely different person. Will she resemble one child over the other? Will Bud and Lucy’s similarities carry through to her? What traits will she have that are 100% different from each of the children?

I can’t wait to find out!

Monday, May 19, 2008

Mild Complaining; Kitchen Photos

I’m tired to day and very cranky thanks to 3rd trimester blues. I swear, for me, the 3rd trimester is worse than the post partum period. Of course, I write that and it seems harsh considering I wasn’t even sure that I loved Lucy all that much until she was close to 2-months old. It’s probably safer to say that when I’m in it, the third trimester is worse—my mood is definitely worse than post partum. And I am so in it right now—starving, but I can barely eat because there is no room and if I eat too much I seriously can not breathe not to mention the heartburn. The top of my stomach, under my ribs, is falling asleep. I have to pee every 10 minutes, but only a trickle comes out, and I have horrible insomnia which is making it hard to hold my head up here at work.

I’m not going to bitch (anymore) today though--hey, I'm on vacation starting Wednesday! I’m going to post some photos of our trip to see Thomas the Train yesterday, as well as kitchen progress!! WOOT!!

Bud working on the tear down—the door to the left, to FIL’s apartment is no longer there:

New cupboards, lights and countertops—the right of the sink is where FIL’s door used to be:

We have some plaster to take down on the other side still and we are moving the entrance from the living room in to the kitchen over to accommodate a breakfast nook. More photos of that soon. We also have to paint, do the electric, plumbing and floor. I can’t wait until we are 100% out of the 70’s!

Here are photos of all of us at Thomas yesterday. It was a bleak day; very cold and rainy, but the kids and their cousin J had a lot of fun.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Where I Blog From

I typically blog from work, so here, my friends, are some photos of my very messy desk/office.

Let's start with the full panned effect, shall we?? This is my office from left to right:

Some close ups of the actual desk:

And finally, my piles and junk, just for you, Tessie!

So what do you think?

Friday, May 16, 2008

Friday Free For All--Work Stuff

1. I had a minor nervous breakdown on Tuesday when I was working late and could not find my evening Zantac in my purse. The laughter of my employees brought me out of it, as I had the entire contents of my purse, including tampons (um, why are they still there??) spread across my desk. For some reason, none of us could stop laughing. I did find the pill, entangled in about 400 receipts held together with a broken off pen top.
2. We actually laugh a lot at work. One of my employees is a complete germophobe and slathers her entire body in antibacterial gel about 30 times a day. Another employee came over last Friday to tell me that she had seen the girl disinfect the change she just got back from the pop machine. I laughed so hard that I cried. I’ve thought about rubbing my ass on her keyboard A la Elaine, but she actually wipes down her entire desk when she gets in every morning.
3. Tomorrow is my scheduled Saturday to work. I was thinking about taking some photos of my desk to show the world where I blog from. You might be disgusted though because I keep it in a horrible state of disarray. But I know where everything is.
4. I still have one of three bags of Munchos left. You thought I didn’t have any self control.
5. My boss regularly sends me links to check out celebrity gossip and odd things she finds online. She is the best laid back kind of boss there is. She’s also a bad influence on me when it comes to eating and shopping, which is why I have to be well on track with a post-pregnancy diet before I get back to work.
6. We have an employee in my department who has “chemical sensitivity”. A few years ago it was mandated that nobody on our side of the building wear perfume/cologne/scented lotions and no cleaners from home were allowed. We actually invested in this vinegar based cleaner that 1. smells like, well, vinegar (or douche, I’m told) and 2. does not do a very good job. This employee lost a lot of weight last year and all of the sudden we noticed the smell of perfume on her. Scented hairspray too. And she started coloring her own hair. Nobody takes precautions any longer; however the “chemical sensitivity” signs are still posted all over our side of the building.
7. Our coffee machines dispense coffee for free. It is not good coffee. We are not allowed to brew coffee at our desks, or have any other small appliances either.
8. We have an unofficial Lactation Room that despite my booking months in advance had people in it holding meetings at my designated times. I found an abandoned office with a lock and no windows the last time around, but we have since remodeled. I am contacting site management to turn the original room in to an official Lactation Room so that nursing mothers no longer have to worry about being evacuated to the bathroom in order to bring milk home to their babies. (I use an electric pump anyway, so the bathroom thing does not fly for me.)

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Just Stuff

1. I am booked solid from 11:00-3:30 today and then have another meeting at 4. Here is the question: When the hell am I going to eat?? Hopefully the 3 bags of Munchos I bought from the vending machine yesterday (they were $.50!! A Bargain!! I couldn’t just buy one!!) will 1. get me through the day and 2. Not crunchily annoy the folks I am on the phone with.
2. I’m tired of people talking about gas prices. I realize it is expensive and a pain in the ass, but guess what—the majority of us have no other choice than to suck it up. So let’s stop making idle chit chat about it, and reporting about “NEW RECORD HIGHS!!” on the news. Let me tell you this—I filled my tank last Wednesday and it cost me $92.00. I am just now at half a tank. I’m going to assume that this will get me through Sunday because we have some extra driving to do---so 11 days for one tank at $92.00. it costs me $8.36 a day to drive to and from work, to the grocery store, gymnastics, Tim Horton’s, Tae Kwon Do, and/or Starbucks. If I took the bus to all of these different places, even if I had a monthly bus pass, it would cost me $8.33 per day PLUS a hell of a lot more time with walking from stop to stop, waiting, and changing bus lines. It is worth the extra $.03. Also—people need to stop sending the “boycott Exxon and Mobil” emails. Here’s a fun fact about gas which I learned when jack of all trades Hub owned a gas station for a few years: The majority of gas (at least in this area), regardless of where YOU buy it from, is purchased from Exxon or Mobil. You may be buying it at say, Getty, but it is probably Exxon/Mobil fuel. So there!!
3. Why do I need to continually explain to Lucy that fruit snacks are not an appropriate breakfast food?
4. A casual acquaintance (co-worker who takes her kid to our daycare) asked me last week about how I was feeling and I mentioned that this was the hardest pregnancy thus far. She had the nerve to say to me “Well, it does get harder with age……” Um, 1. How old do you think I am? And 2. Go to hell.
5. My hair is ridiculously long, thanks to prenatal vitamins AND being too lazy to have it trimmed. It is also 48 times fuller than it normally is. I bought Herbal Essences Dangerously Straight shampoo, and it works like a dream to tame all of the body. This is the type of shampoo that would give me limp locks when not pregnant, but it is SO the right thing for my hair right now. There are few things better than finding a good shampoo, no?

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Typical Saly Rant

I am tired and cranky today. Seriously, just pissy and miserable.

I didn’t get home until almost 10 last night and while both kids were in bed, neither was asleep. Then I had to clear out the kitchen, again, because when we don’t work on it for a few days things migrate back in there. Hub needs to hang some more drywall and finish some electrical things, and OH, paint before Friday morning. Bud was up at 2AM and I slept miserably all night because it was hot and uncomfortable.

Work is ridiculously busy, with having to give assessments to and interview 7 candidates for a position I have open and need to fill before my vacation, which starts a week from today, in between my regular meetings. I also keep forgetting that I have to work this Saturday, potentially my last one before my maternity leave, which sucks to the highest degree.

The biggest source of my frustration is my FSA dependent care account which refuses to reimburse me for my childcare costs, though they have certainly deducted them from my paycheck, because they are idiots and don’t understand my receipts. As of tomorrow they will owe me $416.00. Everyone who answers the phones there is an idiot, so I spent my morning writing them a very strong-worded letter (which I am very proud of) which I faxed, emailed and mailed a hard copy of with extreme documentation of why, exactly, they suck. The benefit of this program is that $5k per year of my childcare expense is not taxable income. But the pain and frustration these a-holes are causing me, is making it so not worth it.

Today is the official start of my third trimester as I am 28-weeks along. Technically, 12 weeks to go, though I say 10. Getting the Pregnancy Weekly email this morning freaked me the hell out. Still so much to do! I could hyperventilate just thinking about it. It is time to make lists, lots of lists. I feel very disorganized this time around. I can’t even talk about it anymore because I can not breathe.

We are going out tonight to buy knobs for the cupboards and drawers, possibly a faucet, and we’ve decided to buy a new dishwasher. Nothing is wrong with ours, but it is a portable model. The conversion kit to make it fit under the counter costs over $100. We figure if we are spending money anyway, we may as well buy a whole new one. The old one is still in good condition, maybe 7 years old. We may try to sell it.

Speaking of my husband, he has this annoying habit of putting mouthwash in his mouth, coming out and putting his shoes on, and then spitting it in to the kitchen sink. I find this repulsive and I can not get him to stop. For some reason, the act of him spitting all over my dishes—even if they are dirty—is disgusting. Plus, the smell does not go away and it makes me so sick. I’m thinking of banning mouthwash in our house. He could probably do worse things though, right?

Tuesday, May 13, 2008


The temperature gauge at my desk reads 77 degrees. It has been this hot in here since I came in at 12:15 today. I am working until 9 or so; until all of the employees go home for the evening.

This is what sucks about working in one state and reporting in to another. All of the other managers in my department were treated to a happy hour tonight. I was asked to stay behind and run the shop. Why? Because we don’t have the same boss.

Funny thing—when there are hot dog sales, rallies, department fundraising type deals, I am asked to participate; to volunteer my time to sell or man a booth, or to pass things from desk to desk. My associates and I sit here in NY, and support associates who work and report in to NY even though we report in to NC. The whole concept is very interesting to me. I tried to take myself out of the situation and look at it from the outside, and even doing that I have the same conclusion. It is all very unfair.

It’s not like I am included when the management from NC goes out to happy hour. How could I be? Wouldn’t it stand to reason that despite the reporting structure I would be included in the activities where I sit?

Apparently not, unless it somehow benefits them.

Shafted again.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Weekend Recap

Mother’s Day was decent—nothing spectacular, but I wasn’t really expecting spectacular, so there you go. Actually, minus Thomas the Train (which we are doing this weekend), it wasn’t much unlike last year. I slept in until about 10 and then Hub went to get me a Starbucks. We had cinnamon rolls and then he cooked eggs, toast, potatoes and sausage. I lazed around for most of the day, and then Hub and I went to see Iron Man when the kids went in for their nap. He took care of baths and showers and I was in bed before 9:30.

Saturday was a completely different story though. I had mentioned that I would be watching our friend’s kids while he helped Hub with the kitchen. I could make a blanket statement and say that I don’t like other people’s kids---but really that isn’t true. I love my 2.5-year-old and 1-year-old nieces. I think it’s about how well you know a kid, or how well a parent has educated you on said kid’s idiosyncrasies, that really figures in. Bud had a Tae Kwon Do Expo so I took all 4 kids with me to that and Hub met us there so he could see Bud do his stuff and get right out of there. I don’t know what it was—they don’t get out much (??) but these kids acted as if they have never been in a public place. M, the 9-y-o girl was all over the place, trying to win prizes, begging to break a board………VOLUNTEERING TO DO A DEMONSTRATION……you name it. J, the 6-y-o boy skulked around, refusing to take off his jacket or hood and was just a plain whiner.

When we finally got out of there, I took them all to McDonald’s with the play place. They were well behaved until it came time to eat. J refused to eat any of his meal, not even the fries, because there were onions on his cheeseburger. He whined the entire time that they screwed up his whole order so he was not eating. M made passive comments about not caring for chocolate milk. “You know, typically, I wouldn’t order chocolate milk for myself. First I would get pop. And if I couldn’t have pop, I would order regular milk 1000 times before I ordered chocolate…” and so on. (I get it---I should have asked them in detail how they liked their happy meals. I shouldn’t have assumed that a cheeseburger means a cheeseburger and that a chorus of “CHOCOLATE MILK!!!” does not mean that everyone wants chocolate milk.)

From there we went to Starbucks because, well, if I couldn’t have alcohol, that must be the next best thing, and the borrowed children were whining from the back that they were thirsty and how could I expect them to run around and play without something to drink. It was rather warm and their father had dressed them in long pants and long sleeves……so I purchased 2 bottles of water at $1.80 a piece—one for Bud and Lucy and the other for M and J to share. Then I had to hear about how they both like to drink a lot so did they really have to share? Yes. Aunt Sara can you put my hair in a pony tail? No. Aunt Sara I’m hot can I take off my sweater and just be in my undershirt? I don’t care.

We headed back to my plaster-covered home around 2:30 and I lay on the couch while Lucy took a nap on my shoulder and the other 3 played with Bud’s V-Smile. I fielded “I wish I could go outside and play Better Batter Baseball………” with sorry, we are in for the day now (read you are not breaking Bud’s toys) for the next two hours until they finally went home.

After grocery shopping and a late dinner, I didn’t make it to bed until after 11. My day had started with Lucy in gymnastics at 9, so it was a very long day; a day that I was glad to have over with.

When I type it all out, the perspective is that really, they aren’t bad kids. And it’s true, they’re not. But they sure aren’t my kids.

P.S. on the kitchen—one door moved one to go. Half way there on the dry wall. Plaster walls SUCK.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Kitchen Remodel Update (Alternate Title-- I am in Hell.)

I came home yesterday to find our kitchen 100% gutted—which is good considering our install is on for next Friday. Here are my concerns:

• You can see my bathtub from my kitchen—not actually in to the bathroom, but the entire underside of the tub.
• If you look under the tub, you can see my basement.
• What the hell is stopping the tub from falling in to the basement? One very large beam.
• Where the ceiling was torn apart, you can see the old roof which hasn’t been in use since, like, 1963.
• 2 items we collected from the rafters: a very old nipple for a baby bottle and piles of silly string. The only thing we can guess is that prior tenants shoved them in the walls upstairs and they drifted down.
• Hub insists that as a child he shoved many of his sister’s toys in the same walls. If doll heads fall out of my ceiling, I am leaving for good.
• My stove is covered in plaster and dust. I mean everywhere. This can not be good.
• Despite the use of a plastic partition, my living room is also full of dust.
• I’m pretty sure Hub isn’t making me a fancy breakfast on Sunday.

This is the worst project ever. Don’t buy a house that was built during WW2. Also---don’t remodel your kitchen.

Friday Free For All (28-week check-up edition)

• I don’t have Gestational Diabetes!! Hooray! No more of that orange crap!!
• I am in the “meet all of the doctors in our practice in case they deliver your baby” phase. I met Dr. 2 of 3 today and liked her just as much as my regular doctor. I feel very validated in changing practices.
• As of now, I am on every 2 week visits. The third trimester!! Holy Hell!!
• Doctor asked “how many kids is this for you???” and when I said 3 she immediately asked me what I was doing about birth control post-baby. What if I said nothing?? (I said Mirena because I’ve heard it’s an excellent option for breastfeeding moms and she agreed stating “more effective than tubal ligation!! They should put that on a billboard.)
• She wants me to see a surgeon regarding my hernia. They will probably do nothing while I am pregnant, however, it’s better to have a relationship with someone incase something does happen. So I’ll schedule that shortly.
• To date I have gained 18 lbs. I weigh right now what I did at the end of my pregnancy with Bud. (shoot harpoon me)
• I am measuring 2 weeks ahead of schedule, which is on par for me. We will be evaluating size between 34 and 36 weeks.
• Olivia kicked or punched the Doppler in every spot the doctor placed it. Already, she has SPUNK. (I am in for it………)

In blast from the past news: The last song I heard on my way in today was Michael Jackson “Black or White”. Wasn’t this the coolest video back in the day? I loved Macauley Culkin and the morphing faces! Then my very favorite show at the time, “In Living Color” spoofed it. “Am I black or white, please tell me! We don’t know!” It’s funny what you remember when you least expect it. This goes back to me being in 8th grade—like 15 years.

On one hand, reminiscing is good, but the other hand makes me want to vomit.

I’m old.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Minor Annoyance

1. I just got an email from Target that the going home outfit I ordered will not ship until at least 7/15. Yeah, that’s a problem. I’m only somewhat irritated though because upon closer inspection of the baby clothes we already have, it is the exact same outfit Lucy came home in. Both kids came home in a Winnie the Pooh outfit that came with hat and booties. I would like something similar for Olivia but I’m not sure what. More shopping for me……yay.

This is the only picture I have of Bud coming home????

Here's Lucy!

2. Hub just called because his mother called to ask him which I prefer: silver or gold. The short answer is none of the above. I am annoyed for 2 reasons---1. Hub should know that the answer is white gold AND that anything that is not 100% gold will give me a horrific rash. 2. Both of them should know that I do not wear jewelry and buying me jewelry gives me this awkward feeling of obligation to wear it OR makes me feel like crap when after say, 3 years you have never seen me wear the earrings you bought me. Seriously, I can’t even be bothered to wear my wedding ring. People should know this.
3. I have to go to three banks on my lunch break which I pretty much think is shit.
4. Lucy is constipated and it’s not her diet. She just plain refuses to poop. I sat on the floor in the bathroom with her for about 20 minutes last night letting her hug me while she squeezed it out—she screamed and cried the entire time. Who knew that being a mother could be so glamorous? And also, thanks to Hub for teaching her to say “I growed a big tail!!”
5. Bud has a Tae Kwon Do expo on Saturday. There is no way he’s going to do it in front of anyone who is not normally there. I’m not looking forward to it.
6. Hub has also invited a friend over on Saturday to help him finish tearing out the kitchen—which is great!. His friend is bringing his 8 and 5-year-old because his wife is out of town, which leaves me responsible for 4 children. Great news—it will be cold and rainy!! We’ll all be cooped up in the living room!
7. It is times like these when I miss booze.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Family Dynamics--The Winds of Change

Hub and I were talking the other night, while at dinner with the kids at IHOP, about whether or not we were planning on doing a family photo prior to the baby’s arrival (along with how that relates to buzzing off Bud’s hair). I mentioned that we had one done prior to Lucy being born to remember our little family. Hub made some sort of comment to the effect of “doing it before Olivia comes and ruins our happy family.” He said it with a smile, and was definitely joking but my feelings were hurt nonetheless. There is after all, some truth in most jokes.

I can’t lie though; similar thoughts have crossed my mind. I think that what he said shocked me so much because he put in to words what I have been feeling, on some level, for the last 27 weeks. What if this isn’t the right time for another baby? What if having a new baby causes issues for Bud and Lucy? What if I can’t love her the way that I love them?

I think that these unspoken thoughts; the what ifs, are normal in this type of situation, or honestly, in any situation where you are preparing for a big change.

I remember feeling exactly the same way, maybe even more so before Lucy was born. Bud was such a Mama’s Boy. He would only be 19-months old when she came. What if I was cheating him out of his time to be the baby? What if he was jealous? How was I ever, in a million years, going to love Lucy even a fraction of the amount I loved Bud? I had many moments where even though I was going through the motions, buying all of the pink stuff, preparing for our girl, where I would think to myself “I’m not even sure that I want another baby.”

And then before we knew it, she was here. The first 6 weeks was hard. She didn’t nurse nearly as often as Bud had, but was the type of baby who wanted to be held or carried constantly. I always had her in the bjorn wile I was tending to Bud, cooking dinner, you name it. She was like an appendage. Oddly though, Bud wasn’t overly jealous. He found a way to weasel in to my lap while she was nursing. And regardless of what was going on, Lucy was placed in her bouncy seat or swing while I put Bud to bed every night. She might fuss or spit out the paci, but I felt like it was important to keep at least that part of his routine, after so much had been uprooted, sacred. And it worked.

It took me close to 2 months before I felt bonded to Lucy, after I spent 3 solid days with her at the children’s hospital for a meningitis scare. From that point forward, it was as if she had always been there. And she and Bud are the best of friends (on most days). The biggest relief though was the love—it really just grows to encompass both kids. I love them both so much for different reasons. I love them differently, but truly, the amount is the same.

So what does this all mean for baby number 3? Well, for one, I have time on my side—Bud will be 4.5 and Lucy will be nearly 3 when she arrives. We have talked about the baby and my belly and everything that goes along with it for months now. They have each other, and also have the ability to understand why Mommy is tied up. More importantly, I have experience now. I’ve reprioritized twice, by adding our first baby and then his sibling. If I can handle two, I can handle anything, right? And surely, like her brother and sister before her, she will be an excellent addition to our family.

Knowing this all doesn’t stop the “what if” thinking, but I do know that I…We….All of us love her already.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Weekend Recap and Shopping!

By the time I had even fed the kids dinner on Thursday, it was 7:00, but I decided to take them out anyway to buy Hub a gift. WE went to Target first, despite Bud’s protests that we needed to go to the train store. I scoured the kitchen section because I could remember him saying that he really wanted something but for the life of me, I could not remember what. We ended up buying him 2 pillows (because he always steals mine) (and also, Shauna I totally thought of you because they are the generic $3.50 Target brand pillows, but we love them!!) and I let each kid pick out their own card for him. Bud went with Spongebob and Lucy picked a singing Dora card, which is probably the most annoying piece of paraphernalia I have ever encountered, but whatever makes Lucy happy makes all of us happy if you know what I’m saying. From Target we went to the hobby shop to buy Hub some train crap, which really was Bud’s way of saying he wanted to go there to watch the massive train displays and make them go……but Lucy picked out some scenery and Bud picked out a nice passenger station—after I talked him out of a $40 lighthouse.

The next morning, which was Hub’s actual birthday, I took the kids to school and went over to Bed Bath and Beyond to see if anything struck me. I’m not sure why I was having such a block as to what I wanted to get him (I’d decided to put off the major expensive gift until Father’s Day to avoid using credit) but after perusing the store for a good hour, I finally found it--- a stove-top grill pan, the kind that fits over 2 burners. The first one I saw was $80!! I’m not sure how that is even possible, but I found a nice one for $35. Once home, we lazed around until it was time to go to lunch at the Casino Buffet. I ate so much shrimp and cornbread and….well, you name it! It was so good, and they have some of the best coffee around. After we got the kids, MIL came over for cake and gifts. I think that Hub had a really good day.

And as a bonus, I got a fancy breakfast a la the new grill pan on Saturday morning. I did laundry for the majority of the day, while Hub worked in the kitchen. I finally washed all of the baby clothes and organized them in to categories and sizes and I feel a lot better knowing what we have and what we need (mostly sleepers and onesies) I caught up on our laundry as well since Hub seemed to think it was important for those of us who are already here to have clean clothes. Pfft. Whatever.

And yesterday, we saw Avenue Q with my Brother and SIL. It was…ok. I had already heard the majority of the music and there wasn’t much more. It was enjoyable, but I felt like the cursing was thrown in more for shock factor than to enhance the plot. There was also a very uncomfortable puppet love scene……I guess it was an experience. And all I could picture the whole time was the guy from Johnny and the Sprites (with his large, straight very white teeth) who was the original of one of the characters. The biggest mistake was wearing heels downtown---I could barely walk last night.

I suppose that is it, in a nutshell. I’ll be glad to take it easy next weekend. Today has already been decent; I bought this:

And I am on my way out to Target and Payless to get some comfy shoes. A Monday with lunch break shopping = B O N U S!!

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Random Crap and Questions

I still have not bought my husband a birthday gift because I am a horrible excuse for a human being. Honestly, I just don’t know what to do. There is one thing in the world that he wants, but I think he’ll be upset with me because of the money. But why shouldn’t I spend it? Especially when he’s offered to take me to the new maternity store in town, that offers pregnancy massage and all kinds of other cool stuff, tomorrow…on his birthday. I don’t know. I have to go out after work tonight and make a decision because I wasn’t able to get out on my lunch today. 1st day of the month and work is a horror. I was up to my eyeballs in reports until about 12:30, taking a few minutes here and there to browse blogs in order to save my sanity. I will not miss the monthly reporting when I am off. No Siree.

We are thinking of cancelling the install for our kitchen. Hub thinks it’s ridiculous to pay close to $2k to install some cabinets when he is the one doing the entire tear-out and redesign. The guy is literally coming in to hang cupboards. He’s probably right; but I just want it to be so perfect. I’m going to trust him; I typically do on these matters anyway.

Have any of you gone to a home show, like at your local convention center? Hub gave our number (read, MY cell phone) to several companies and when they are calling to make appointments, they are insistent on both of us being there. Like, one person can’t make the decision. When Hub tells them that he is the one at home and that I work full time, they want to come out on Saturday or Sunday……or like, FRIDAY NIGHT! So we can both be there……it makes no sense to me. I flat out told someone who called last night that I didn’t care and that Hub makes house decisions---it was some gutter crap or something---why do I care about gutters??? OH! I don’t!! Anyhoo, the lady on the phone asked me if I could just be there as a personal favor to her because she gets in trouble if only one spouse is at the consult. WTF? Sure, Patty my dear old friend….as a personal favor to you. IDIOT.

Can someone remind me to pay my cell phone bill today? Kthanks.

So I used the pseudonyms yesterday……was it weird for anybody? The feeling of typing out “Lucy” and “Bud” was akin to speaking with marbles in my mouth. So should I try and get used to it? Should I resort back to ED and CA? Should I just use their real names for the love of Pete? Is it vain of me to assume that someone would specifically google my kid’s names in an effort to read about my life? Seriously? We all know it’s not about anonymity---billions of you know my full name because of Swistle and the Facebook and I don’t care. (Billions, HA, now that’s vain) It shouldn’t be this hard. But if I’m keeping the pseudonyms, I have to update my profile.

I’m babbling because I am wicked tired. I actually slept in bed all night and I feel worse than if I’d been on the couch.

I have to sort all of my reports to present at 2:00 PM so I guess I’m ending this now.