Wednesday, February 29, 2012

When another woman wants to date your husband...

Hub and I have friends, a couple, who we have known now for 20 years. I will call them Lana and Fred. Lana was Hub’s next door neighbor, and she and I were friends in middle school (in the years that I was not a big fan of Hub’s). She moved when I was in 8th or 9th grade and I lost touch with her. She and Hub kept in contact quite a bit though.

When Hub and I began dating we would hang out with Lana occasionally and some friends of hers, one of whom was Fred. They were just friends at that point, but this gives you a clear picture of how long Fred has been around. Lana was always very affectionate towards Hub, but she is also the kind of girl who kisses ME hello, on the lips, and thinks nothing of it, so it never really bothered me.

We grew up, did the college thing and lost touch with Lana and Fred. When we were planning our wedding, we ran in to them in a restaurant, together with a child and one on the way. We reconnected and started hanging out again fairly regularly. Fred stood up in our wedding. We considered them to be family.

Soon after though, Lana started rubbing me the wrong way. She would make these comments to Hub, always with a laugh, pretending she was kidding.

“Well, now that Saly’s pregnant, I guess you and I never have a chance.”

This one was when they were on the phone (Hub always talks on speaker) and I was in the other room. “I have this plan, that when Saly and Fred die, you and I will finally get to be together.”

And finally, a couple years ago “Hey Hub, how come you never asked me out when we were teenagers? How come you and I never hooked up?” This was said in front of me, in my living room. Hub and I just looked at each other, and I said “Are you kidding me??” and she just laughed it off. They have not been back at our house since.

Now, Fred works for Hub in some capacity, and they do come to our family parties and we haven’t cut them out of our lives or anything, but we definitely don’t just hang out anymore. Hub and Fred, maybe once in a while, but that’s it.

So on New Years, Lana texted Hub “Happy New Year, Babe!” and he ignored her. A few weeks ago, she texted him “Hey Hub, I’ve been thinking about you. I hope you’re doing well. I miss you!” which he also ignored, but also started to think that she was possibly being inappropriate. Then yesterday, she sent him the following: “Hi Hub. If I was able to get my hands on tickets for (musical in town this weekend) for Friday night, would you want to go with me?”

This is why I had to give the background to this story. That text alone is innocent enough—wanting to do something with her old friend, I guess. But I kind of think she was asking my husband out on a date. People get fancied up, and go downtown and see what ever show has come in for the week. It’s something 2 girlfriends would go see, or a couple. He hasn’t answered her yet because he doesn’t know how to play it.

These are the options he is considering:
1. Are you asking me out on a date? LOL! (and then seeing what her response is)
2. Are we talking 2 tickets or 4 tickets?
3. Deleting the text and pretending he never got it.

I think I am in favor of number 1, or a combination of 1 and 2. Either that or I’m going to take a drive and unleash my fists of fury.

What would you do in this situation? What would you have your husband do? Do you think it’s possible that I am overreacting? To be clear, Hub has shared all of this with me; I’m not a snooper. But seriously. What’s the best way to handle this little situation?

Monday, February 27, 2012


I’ve been avoiding posting. Not for any good reason, but mostly because this is my 500th post on this little blog and I didn’t want to mar it with the bad stuff I’ve had going on recently. It’s not been anything that has directly affected me…everyone here is healthy and generally happy, but people close to me are just going through things and it’s getting me down. Without going in to too many details, here are the bullets:
• Good friend’s husband has been diagnosed with a deadly illness…prognosis is 5 years at best.
• Fellow TKD mom with 11yo twins has stage4 L*ngC@ncer that has spread to her brain. Though she is fighting, prognosis is months. And I can’t stop thinking about her girls. Her poor poor girls. (her son and husband too)
• My godmother’s sister—same as above but to a lesser degree. We are hopeful.
• Major financial issues for my parents. Feeling like I am sometimes the grown-up in our relationship. (I know we are all grownups now…but you kow what I mean)
• My brother’s divorce and whether he really is ok.
So like I said, none of these things are happening directly to me, but I have just been so overwhelmed with all of it. People my age die. People my age have their lives fall apart. People who are much older than me still don’t have their shit together. It all just makes me feel fragile and scared and somewhat out of control. SO. That’s where I’ve been.

I am feeling better though. Trying to focus on the good. We’ve donated to TKD Mom’s cause and are trying to set up more donations for her benefit in June. I’m having a good time over at my paying blogging gig. Work is slow. My parents are going to be ok even though I’m not thrilled with their decisions. My brother really is going to be ok; although I don’t know when or if he will stop being bitter. We finally bought a new couch. It will be spring soon and we will be allowed to park in the street. I am, for the first time in my life enjoying exercise and making a commitment to do whatever is in my own control to be healthy and live a long life for my kids.

I guess we will all be ok. For as long as we can be anyway. And then when we’re not, we will deal with it the best way we know how.

I hope this post finds you all ok, in the best way you know how. Thanks for sticking with me through 500 (and more if you read my old blog). Here’s to 500 more!

Friday, February 10, 2012

not just A mom, THE mom

I’m in Bud’s room; it’s the middle of the day and I’m collecting laundry. Laundry that is strewn about his floor while his hamper remains e m p t y. I can’t help but to smile though, because this is the way it always is on TV. Someone who is not the mom might believe something like this to be exaggerated. But there is no exaggeration. No stereotype. The boy child is a messy child. He knows not where his hamper is and I will forever be digging dirty laundry out of the depths of his room.

Liv has put on her very favorite outfit to wear to pre-school, a frilly purple top and black and white striped leggings. She gets bored while waiting for Hub who is talking to the neighbors and begins to play in the front yard. Of course, she falls in the mud leaving her knees muddy beyond relief. Hub puts her in the car anyway, and calls me to tell me about it on the way to school, at which point I demand that he’d better have her change her pants when they get there, and he’d better bring me those pants immediately. He thinks I’m crazy, but he complies. I treat the shit out of those stains. I don’t just do laundry, I am good at doing laundry. Of course I am; I’m the mom.

I don’t notice crumbs on the floor. Really, I don’t. But I will notice when teeth haven’t been brushed correctly, when someone, who hates brushing her hair, has tried to hide snarls with some careful fingertip arranging, or when someone has been much too quiet (I will usually find THAT someone trying on one of my bras). I’ll notice who’s a little bit pale, circles under eyes, or pretending to be asleep when I come to check. I will know about that candy hidden in a sleeve or a pocket JUST as I walked in to the room. I will know about lunch food thrown away rather than eaten at school. I will be asked how, and I will answer that it’s because I am the mom.

I will laugh at unfunny jokes. I will even make up some of my own. I will pretend to be offended when one of them tells me that I always sound like I’m being sarcastic. I will put together the same puzzles, read the same books and sing the same songs.

I will feel every one of their emotions and sometimes wonder if I feel them more than they do.

I will love them fiercely even as they are on my last freaking nerve.

I will always tousle or stoke hair. I will always take that extra minute to sniff in their smell at bedtime.

I am the mom. Their mom.

Lucy tells us in the car the other night that she is never getting married. She only likes the cute funny boys. The ones who make her laugh. When she laughs hard she pees a little. She can’t spend the rest of her life peeing her pants. I laugh, and tell her that someday she’ll change her mind, and then of course, I post our exchange on Facebook. Hub looks at her approvingly and tells her it’s ok. Never get married. Ever.

Because he’s the dad.

Monday, February 6, 2012

What makes it lazy?

Both Carmen and StephLove asked me about my lazy pierogie last week, so here is a post dedicated to one of my very favorite foods.

I am asked more often than you think for this recipe and people are always surprised at how few ingredients there are in it. My mother has been making it for as long as I can remember. What makes it a lazy pierogie is that you don’t tediously roll out dough and painstakingly fill it with ingredients before par-boiling and then baking/frying the finished product. (Don’t worry, my very Polish mother does that too.) What makes them lazy is that you use regular old noodles from your pantry, and the whole process takes maybe an hour instead of 2 days.

Many people like to make lazy pierogie with cream of mushroom soup. I say this is unnecessary and that it binds up your noodles. Other people add meat to it. Nope. Not here. But it is good with some fresh sausage on the side. You can do what you want, of course, and I too have enjoyed the variations of this dish, but at least make my version once. And if you are not a convert, well, I’ll kind of think you are lying.

I’m going to tell you the right way to make it. I will tell you that it is almost as good if you cut some of the butter out. This is one recipe where I won’t compromise the butter though, and I think it’s worth it in a world where we already make many compromises to do the right, heart healthy low fat thing. Besides, if you cut the butter my mother will cry. You don’t want her to cry now, do you?

So. Without further ado, here it is:

Saly’s Lazy Pierogie

4 sticks of butter
1 ½ large sweet onions, diced (I usually end up throwing in 2 whole onions, because I LOVE onions)
4lbs sauerkraut, squeezed and drained but NOT rinsed (you need to preserve the krauty goodness)
1.5 lbs rotini noodles, cooked
Salt and pepper, to taste


1. In a large frying pan (seriously, use your biggest one or you will be sorry), melt 2 sticks of butter.
2. When butter is melted add diced onions and sauté until brown and soft
3. Add 3rd stick of butter and melt
4. Reduce heat to low, combine sauerkraut with the onion, and cook for about 30-45 minutes until the kraut is browning (but not burning) and soft. Stir it up every so often so it cooks evenly and give it a taste—if it needs salt and pepper, go for it.
5. Combine sauerkraut mixture with cooked noodles (add more salt and pepper if necessary—the kraut really sort of sucks it up) in the baking dish of your choice, and dot the top with remaining butter.
6. Cover, and bake in a 350 degree oven for about 30 minutes. This melds the flavors and just makes it delicious.
7. Stir, and serve!

This dish is a staple for us at picnics and pot lucks. I almost never bring any home, which is actually disappointing, because the leftovers are phenomenal.

If you try it, let me know how it turns out, ok? Or if you have tried a variation of this let me know too. I’d like to figure out a good way to make this with farmer’s cheese instead of sauerkraut too. Then I could have my two favorite kinds of pierogie in lazy form!

Friday, February 3, 2012


I’m stealing this from Mrs. Irritation because I am lazy, but wanted to post something, anything other than what’s actually on my mind. So, here it goes.

A to Z

A. Age: 33

B. Bed size: Queen. Too small, but we have a small house, so what can you do.

C. Chore that you hate: Putting away laundry, and lately, wiping mud from dog paws.

D. Dogs: Haley the Obnoxious

E. Essential start to your day: C O F F E E

F. Favorite color: PINK! All forms of pink!

G. Gold or silver: Silver

H. Height: My license says 5’4” but I am closer to 5’2 ½”, aka SHORT

I. Instruments that you play: I can pick on a piano, but I am a singer

J. Job title: AVP; Process Design Consultant

K. Kids: Bud-8, Lucy-6, Olivia-3. The loves of my life/sources of constant frustration

L. Live: Western NY

M. Mother's name: think “monroe”

N. Nicknames: I have never had a nickname, which makes me sad

O. Overnight hospital stays: 3 births, 1 stay with kidney stones while pregnant with Lu, and one stay with Lu for a meningitis scare when she was 2 months old.

P. Pet peeves: I’m just going to pick the one that’s been grating on me lately. It is using “whole entire” in a phrase. “The whole entire room was laughing!!” It is redundant to say both “whole” and “entire”.

Q. Quote from a movie: Johnny has his hand! Johnny has his pride!

R: Right or left handed: Right

S: Siblings: 2 younger brothers

T. Treat you adore: Anything chocolate and ooey and gooey

U. Underwear: functional

V. Vegetable(s) you hate: peas. Hork.

W. What makes you run late: Kids, always.

X. X-rays you've had: Teeth, lungs, neck after a car accident

Y. Yummy food that you make: I am known for lazy pierogi, sweet and sour chicken, barbeque pulled pork, beef tips, and hot pepper dip.

Z. Zoo animal: Giraffes. Love.