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We are back from 2 days at the water park. Great fun! I can't
believe how great all 3 children behaved. Now, Hannah is scooting
backwards on the floor while I take a rest. Happy Weekend!

All Over the Place.....Sorry :)

Hub’s not working much. And on the money side, it sucks—a lot. But in the sense of housework, and dinner, and shopping and other miscellany—it’s great. As we speak, he is at Chez Target, picking up Goodnights for Bud and a new bathing suit for Lucy to take on our trip this weekend. Am I concerned about what the bathing suit will look like? Yes. Will it be better than going out on my lunch break, losing my (already pretty crappy) parking spot and walking 2 miles in the bitter cold? Hell yes.

And when I get home tonight, he’ll have got the kids from school, and dinner will be started, if not already ready. If there was any laundry, it will be folded and ready for me to put away. Dishes will be done. It’s grand.

Having him home during the week makes me feel less guilty about not getting things done over the weekend too. Which isn’t to say that I’m taking advantage of him and being lazy, but I am enjoying more time with the kids without worrying that if I don’t clean, we’ll have a total shit storm on our hands.

We have had 2 really nice weekends in a row. Last Sunday, we took a family trip to Target, had lunch there, and went on a long walk on the trails at our favorite park. It was muddy, and the creek had washed away a large portion of the trail we were on. Bud may have come home sans pants and none of us had shoes. We had a really good time though; especially the baby who I’m sure felt like she was chasing the big kids down the paths as she rode in her buggy.

This past Saturday, Hub’s mom came over for dinner, and we cooked on the grill for the first time this year—even though it was colder than it has been recently. Hub and Bud got a lot of work done outside, including pulling out our ugly ugly bushes and framing in our walkway so it can be cemented. After dinner we started watching home movies which, aside from a minor breakdown on Lucy’s part—because, where was she?????, was a really good time. I forgot how little the kids were. And I mean, God, they are still so little, but it seems so long ago. Bud on Christmas morning at age 2 saying “Mommy, open! Mommy open!” Lucy and blankie when she was 16-months old. Even Christmas of 2007, before I grew her bangs out, Lucy seemed so small. And Hub and I were so young……these are the days of our lives, or something, I suppose.

Anyway, we were up until close to 1am watching them and when I tried to put Liv down, she outright refused. She slept in her swing 4 nights last week because she was so congested, and now, seems to think that she is never sleeping in there again. Um…oh hell no. We finally got her to sleep after 2am sometime and Hub stayed in the living room with her because I had not slept in bed all week. Last night, more of the same, though earlier. Finally, I put her down on her belly, and she stayed down until about 12:30. At least it’s something, right?

The girl is stubborn in every aspect of her life. She wants to stand. Not sit, not lie on the floor (because when she tries to crawl, she just goes backwards), stand. And she stiffens herself and throws herself backwards until she gets her way. She hit her head twice yesterday pulling this crap. My back is sore from holding her little hands while she stood, practically the entire time we were at my uncle’s yesterday.

She’s something else for sure. And someday she’ll be another one of our babies long ago, making eyes at the video camera.

A Rant...then comparison photos because we haven't done that for a while

If I were to have written anything over the past week or so, it would have read something to the effect of ‘sick, sick, sick, everyone is sick, nobody is sleeping, we are all sick, I have an effing headache again, sick.’

Oh, and ‘sick’.

I’m not getting a lot of sleep and I have been in a mood. The baby in her stuffy sickness is trying my patience. We have spent the last 2 nights in the swing and on the couch, (I’ll let you decide who slept where) and because I haven’t got decent sleep, I am still feeling the effects of a migraine that started Sunday night. Plus I have my period. And I feel like my tampon is in crooked right now. (TMI? I DON’T CARE!)

Yes, I’m a peach. So lets do some comparison photos, yes? Haven’t done that in a while! Here are all 3 kids, at around 7 months of age. Isn’t it funny how much the same, but also how completely different they all look?

Liv:


Lucy:


Bud

Weekend Recap

I had a really good weekend. Hub let me sleep in on Saturday—though the baby who loves to scream at the top of her lungs while she plays had different ideas--and I woke up to donuts and coffee around 9am. The coffee was wonderful and I told Hub that he should make it every day if it would turn out that good. I found out later that he purchased the already made coffee from Tim Horton’s while he was out, and just emptied the cups in to our carafe to keep it warm. It was delicious though. We were around and doing work before 11; cleaning out the basement to make room for what is in the attic, so we can tear the attic apart to turn it in to bedrooms.

Anyway, I was in my glory because I just moved around clothes, and sorted them by size in to bins, and got out what I have for the summer since it will be warmer VERY SOON! While I don’t have much for the bigger kids, I have more than enough for the baby. I think she could go the entire summer without wearing the same thing twice. Someone went a little bit crazy in the baby clothes department when her 1st baby girl was born. I’m just sayin’. Anyway, the summer clothes are on deck, and I have 0-3 and 3-6 clothes packed up and a box started to throw the 6-9’s in as she is outgrowing them. Which is happening fast, sad to say. In fact, now that I think about it, all of Lucy’s old clothes are 9-12 and 12-months because she was a teeny tiny peanut. Liv—not so much. Oh well, I suppose we’ll just have to see. It’s a crapload of clothes.


Yesterday, we started hauling stuff down from the attic. We have more movie posters and standees from our years of working at Blockbuster than you could ever imagine. I mean, seriously, well over 200 posters. We used them as wallpaper in our very 1st apartment. Good times. So anyway, we went through a lot of those, and I worked some more in the basement, and I’m sure there was some child-rearing mixed in as well.




I think though, that the highlight of my weekend was an old friend finding me on Facebook. You may have heard me talk about my friend M here before, she who has been my BFF since we were 11. Well before it was Saly and M, it was Saly, M and C. And sadly C moved away when we were Freshmen in high school. This was the time when there was no such thing as the internet (GASP!) (I mean, there was an internet, but nobody had it) and it was hard to keep long distance friends. Anyway, hard as we tried, we just lost touch. Imagine my surprise when she friended me though. It really made my weekend.

And today, I am at work, which I am not really feeling, but at least I can hold on to my 2 days of vacation scheduled for the end of the month. Whatever it takes to get me through, right??

I leave you with Liv’s 1st pancake—about 3 weeks ago:

Friday Free for All- Things You Probably Don’t Care About

• When I got home last night, I could smell a delicious fried oniony smell as I walked up the driveway. I thought to myself how I wished it was our dinner but that it surely wasn’t since Hub hates onions. To my surprise, it was our dinner though. Hub fried pierogies and made mashed potatoes and broccoli. It was good; he is a good husband.
• I brought the leftovers for lunch today, and I can barely stop myself from eating lunch RIGHT NOW!
• We are doing something completely impractical with our tax refund—buying the kids a swing set. We could totally pay down bills and just take them to the park. But we really want them to have it. It will last for years, right?
• We are planning a trip to the indoor water park at the end of the month too. I’m excited; I really need a vacation.
• Hub knows someone who will have beagle puppies in a few weeks. Hub and the kids want a puppy—me, not so much. But, I did have a beagle once and loved her. So……maybe. We’ll see.
• Hub has all 3 kids out for a walk right now; it’s a gorgeous day. I wish I was home.
• I can’t remember being this glad it was Friday in a really long time.

Hazy Shade of Winter

I think the thyroid is kind of amazing, in that it is basically responsible for everything that occurs in your body—you know, directly, indirectly, whatevs. What sucks though is that mine does not work properly—and when things are off, things get pretty screwed up for me.

I remember vividly, the beginning of my quest. The year 1999, I started feeling weird. Gained like, 60lbs in a very short time frame. I felt crappy, tired and like I was constantly losing my mind. I saw my primary doctor all the time who chalked the way I was feeling to changes in my eating habits, since I had moved out of my parents home, working 3 jobs and going to school, and general stress. For 2 years I saw him probably on a monthly basis. For 2 years, I had no answers.

I was uneducated, you know. And young. I believed my doctor. Finally, after months of feeling a weird sort of pressure in my neck, and having been told I had ear infections, swollen glands, sinus issues and so on, my doctor agreed to test my thyroid. He did it begrudgingly, as if to shut me up, and ordered a gamut of blood work along with an ultrasound of my neck.

I waited for a week before I finally got a call from some tech at the doctor’s office who simply said “You have a goiter. We can see you in about 6 weeks if you want to talk further about it.”

A goiter sounds mortifying, doesn’t it? I remember learning in elementary science about them; how they were common somewhere due to lack of iodine. The photos of women with bulbous necks. I was terrified, to say the least.

Finally, I did some research. Relied on a friend’s mom in the medical field to find a good endocrinologist, and there began a journey of testing different levels of Synthroid and monthly blood work.

This was 2002. I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder, Hashimoto’s Disease. I lost about 45lbs very quickly. I was managing this condition and I felt good.

I had heard of risks to pregnancy with this condition, and thankfully, never experienced any of them. I had heard that TSH levels can spike after delivery, but for the most part, mine remained constant. Then again, with both Bud and Lucy I had an amazing endocrinologist who monitored my levels monthly, and increased my dose every couple of months to keep me level and then gradually decreased it after birth. Sadly, this endocrinologist moved and the one I have now, is usually too busy to even listen to me. My dose wasn’t changed at all during my pregnancy, and though my blood work continued to show my TSH levels at an even 4, I was starting to feel weird.

You know, with all the stress of a new baby, and going back to work, and managing childcare, I hadn’t really paid attention to the last time I had blood work done. I haven’t really paid any attention to myself since Liv was born. I’ve noticed some weight gain, and mood swings, and being a little bit scatterbrained, but chalked it up to all of the above. A few weeks ago I noticed that I was losing a lot of hair. Hub has had to ask me several times to do things that normally would be non-issues. He has even asked me about checking my levels, because he knows the signs. I have been borderline out of control; feeling hazy and exhausted most of the time.

I finally had my blood drawn on Tuesday, and the results were in yesterday. My TSH levels were up to 14. I guess the high range of normal is 5, but they should really be between 0 and 3? I don’t really know. But I guess it’s no wonder I have been feeling wonky. They increased my dose a bit, and we’ll see what we see, I suppose. It takes about 3 weeks to make any sort of difference, but I’m hoping to be back on the right path to feeling normal and well. To losing some of this baby weight.

I still need to find a new endocrinologist, but that will have to wait for another day.

Ch Ch Change

Oh how neglectful I have been of my poor blog! It’s not for lack of having things to write about either, I’ve just been ridiculously busy with this work transition and then when I get home, I have no desire to go down to the cold cold basement……so, I’ve been reading, always reading, and sending a few tweets by phone, but other than that, I guess I’ve been pretty much MIA.

So yeah, work is in-freaking-sane, but I can’t really discuss any of that, so you’ll have to take my word for it. I’m ok though, we’re ok. But crap! It’s a lot.

Somehow, Liv turned 7-months-old on Sunday. I am not entirely sure where the time goes. I feel like we are trapped in a vortex or something. I mean, 7 months. Closer to being a year old than she is to her actual birth. Closer to becoming, well, not a baby. We moved her in to her crib (and out of our bedroom) last week, and while it’s the sort of thing you think would get easier with the third child, it was harder than I thought it would be to not sleep on her bedroom floor. I like being able to hear her breathe. I like reaching over and placing my hand on her belly, feeling it rise and fall. I’m getting used to checking her when I make my usual rounds of the big kids. But still…it’s hard.

And speaking of getting older, we picked up Bud’s kindergarten registration crap yesterday; oodles of paperwork and documentation (and maybe fingerprints and drops of blood……) and it kind of hit me……I am going to have a school-aged child. In September, my baby will be riding the bus, and spending every day from 9:30-3:30 at school. He felt like such a big kid, going in to the school with Hub to pick everything up. He’s excited about kindergarten. I am not so much.

Thankfully, Lucy is still pretty much Lucy. No major milestones, no changes. She’s 3 ½ and I struggle to remember that sometimes; Hub and I both do—holding her to the same standards we do Bud. But she’s still just little (and also hell on wheels). We were surprised at her parent/teacher conference last week to hear just how well behaved and controlled she is at school; how smart she is. This is not the case at home. And she will refuse to recite letters or try and draw them. (she will however sing the national anthem on cue, which is adorable) But at school, she is good. She is where she should be. Before we know it though, we’ll put her on the bus too and only have Liv’s babyhood (or lack thereof) to cling to.

I told Hub the other day that the realistic part of me; the huge brunt of my being, is totally OK with being done having kids. I am done with the rigmarole of all of it—feedings, changings, the countless sleepless nights—seriously, so over that. The sentimental part though……that part of me just can not wrap her head around never snuffling her own baby’s neck again, never feeling the weight of her sleeping newborn on her chest again. Never feeling a baby kicking her in the ribs. Hub smiled and patted my shoulder and said, “Well, we can hold out hope for an accident……”.

Indeed.

I just can’t believe how fast the time goes. If anyone has any tricks to get it to stop, please, let me know.