Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The Long and Winding Post.......

I mentioned the other day that I wanted to get away from using initials for my kid’s names. I’m pretty set on calling CA “Lucy” as that is what I call her at home anyway. The Bean will be Olivia because we can’t use it but I love it. Much like choosing a boy’s name though, choosing a pseudonym for ED is excruciating! Nothing fits. He is nothing to me other than his name. I call him Handsome and Bud at home, but those don’t fit here. I should just say SCREW IT and go back to using their real names. Everyone knows them anyway. It’s just the whole searching thing. If someone searched all 3 kid’s names, surely they would find this Blog, correct? This is stupid. And hard.

I’m ready to stop working now. Really really ready. The official countdown is 99 days! DOUBLE DIGITS!! But I anticipate giving birth between 7/21 and 7/28 which puts us at about 11-12 weeks to go. (Watch me go like 10 days overdue or some crap) Seriously though, with how low she is, my back is killing me consistently, I have my usual pregnancy related hip pain, and now I have this hernia to contend with, which is actually pretty sore. Work is also ridiculously busy and stressful on top of it, so it seems like a good idea to be done sooner than later. I’m at the point where I would be paid for any time off as long as it was medically necessary and documented (2 weeks per year of service times 8 years=16 weeks of paid time off prior to Maternity Leave) I planned on working at least through 7/15 and friends, I don’t think it’s going to happen. My issue is with my monthly bonus—I have to work at least one day in the month to qualify for it. So….June 1st? July 1st? I have 9 vacation days plus Memorial Day off in May so I think I can get through it.

I also have until tomorrow to decide the kid’s summer daycare schedule. When I had CA, ED was still at the old center and they were very flexible. I dropped him down to 2 days a week to get him out of the house as well as to give me alone time with CA. The new center, not so flexible. They can go MWF or T/THU. I think that for consistency, the MWF is the best, and I do receive my full pay while I am out, so no big deal. I just wish we could go Tues/Weds/Thurs instead and then have them home Friday through Monday. 3 days on, 4 days off, you know? Maybe if I sat down and talked with the director……but I really don’t want to.

Hub’s birthday is Friday; he will be 32. I still have not got him a gift. I still don’t know what to get him. I actually know what I want to get him, but I think he will be upset with the cost. I don’t know. I have the day off and we are planning on doing lunch at the Casino where they have a huge buffet. We go there exclusively to eat, we almost never gamble. Then we’ll have cake at home after we pick up the kids. Is it wrong that I’m stressing out about not being near the computer all day for Swistle’s Big Reveal? Thankfully, I can check email and read Blogs through the internet browser on my phone. I just can’t comment.

My mother really irritated me on Sunday which I neglected to mention yesterday. ED was being a real pisser at dinner, pouting and just being nasty overall. After Hub said something he didn’t like he said “Well FINE THEN!” I’m, not eating!!” Hun took his drink away, stating the obvious—he wasn’t drinking pop if he wasn’t eating dinner. ED broke down in hysterics so Hub took him out of the restaurant. My mother was appalled “all of that for a little bit of acting out?” I told her it is the only way to deal with him; the only thing that works. “I think it’s too much and it really bothers me.” Again, you do not deal with this kid on a daily basis. When he gets in this sort of mood you have to physically remove him from the situation in order to break it. “So what, now they’re not going to eat dinner??” They will be back in a few minutes; ED just needs time to relax. “Well, it really bothers me.” I wanted to say really hurtful things, relating to the way my youngest brother acts and behaves—that maybe if she had used some different tactics he wouldn’t be the way he is. But I bit my tongue. She feels bad enough about my brother as it is. And sure enough, Hub and ED returned less than 5 minutes later, with ED happy as a clam. I don’t appreciate my parenting being criticized. Here’s the thing—we will put up with silliness, and we can tolerate moods/acting out to an extent—it is typical preschool/toddler behavior. But when it turns in to total bullshit, it is plain not allowed. We have happy, well adjusted, and for the most part, very well behaved children. I felt like she was implying we were beating them or something……we don’t even spank them. I feel better getting that out---much better.

I am treating myself to Burger King for lunch today. Hub picked up food for himself and the kids yesterday but nothing for me because 1. I haven’t been eating much for dinner and 2. He didn’t know what I would want. Of course, this put me on the warpath……but I can recover by getting my own Whopper today. I’m excited, which in a word, is sad.

Finally, out of the mouth of my baby, I offer you three recent revelations. The first, after hearing someone on TV mention their boyfriend: “I have two boyfriends, Merrick and Davin……” At dinner on Friday she stood up, pointed to Hub and said “what the hell is the matter with you!!” (That one is all me…) And on the way home the other day “Mommy, we don’t say sum of the bitch, we say sum of the gun, right?” (I take no credit for that one though…she heard it from my dad on Easter…one time…and has been obsessed ever since.)

12 comments:

Jess said...

Wow, this is long and winding but all fascinating. I am totally on your side about the whole parenting thing, and I'm glad that venting about your mom made you feel better, and also I'm impressed and glad that you were able to avoid making snippy comments about your brother.

Enjoy the Whopper!

CAQuincy said...

OMG. If I let my kid act out in a public restaurant, my mother would criticize me if I just let him sit there and didn't do anything! Wow. You and I would have a ball getting together comparing crazy mother stories!

Go get that whopper. And surely hubs has a cell phone to call and ASK if you wanted anything? Sheesh!

Misty said...

I didn't think it was all that long. I was riveted the whole time ;).

You are an excellent mama. You mom might need a dose of the real world before she starts to imply, even vaguely, that you are mistreating those kids. In my humble, unqualified opinion.

Congrats on all the time off! It sounds doable. Just keep plugging along, girl. It will be over before you know it.

Tess said...

Sorry about your mom. I never know what to do about those "it really bothers me" comments, because what I WANT to say is I DON'T CARE.

SUM OF THE GUN! LOVE!

bananafana said...

Part of me says take all the time off you can but I couldn't do it myself - I get easily bored and lose my mind. But I hated being uncomfortable at work.
I don't understand why your mom was flipping out about taking him out of the restaurant. we do that even at our house - if you're going to flip the hell out, you need to take a break. I would have done the exact same thing . . . moms are a pain in the A sometimes. I was thinking about writing a post about my mom today and now I think I must . . .

bananafana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mommy Daisy said...

Oh Lucy, I like the new name. And she's a character. Sum of gun is too funny.

You're baby will be here before you know it. I hope she comes as soon as you want, so you don't have to feel any worse.

I think you did the right thing for the restaurant situation. That's what we would have done. It's hard when you clash with your mother about parenting things, though. I know it upsets me a little too. Luckily there aren't too many things that my mom and I disagree on. But she knows that I just have to do my own thing.

Happy Birthday, Hubs!

Pickles and Dimes said...

Sum of a gun = part of my new vocabulary.

Ugh - your mom. So frustrating. Who cares if she was uncomfortable. You know what works with ED, and it's better to remove him and make her uncomfortable than leave him in the restaurant screaming, leaving everyone else uncomfortable. Maybe she's uncomfortable because she never disciplined like that before.

If you're getting a Whopper, you might as well get the cheesy tots! MMMMMMM...cheesy tots.

Saly said...

You guys are great.

Carrie- that was my point to hub exactly. His excuse--he was already in the drive thru!! I don't buy it. He called me from Delta Sonic the other morning to find out what kind of air freshener I wanted--totally the same thing.

Misty--HELL YEAH!!!

Tessie- See what I want to say is so much worse than I DON'T CARE--I need to be very careful.

Fana- we do it at home too. Both kids take some time off in their bedrooms until they are able to act in a reasonable manner. We start hat at around 18 months or so.

Shauna- I already ate....but I'm totally going back for an oreo shake tomorrow. Cheesy tots and an oreo shake? BONUS!!

Kristin.... said...

Ooh, glad you used your filter and didn't say anything to your mom! I don't always bite my tongue when I should and my lack of filter sometimes gets me in trouble.

I love the cute things kids say, even if they aren't what we want them to say. I'll never forget when my now 7 year old fell down at about 3 1/2 and said "crap, crap, crap". I laughed so hard and my husband looked at me. What could I say? :)

Swistle said...

1) I think Bud works.

2) Your mom was really....insistent. I think I would have said in a KIND voice, "I'm sorry. But we are the parents."

mom of the year said...

You and Fana need to get together over the MOTHER thing.

And my little one is featuring phrases that include the words nipple, and in one case, bitch. That's a blog post ready to happen...