Hub and I have friends, a couple, who we have known now for 20 years. I will call them Lana and Fred. Lana was Hub’s next door neighbor, and she and I were friends in middle school (in the years that I was not a big fan of Hub’s). She moved when I was in 8th or 9th grade and I lost touch with her. She and Hub kept in contact quite a bit though.
When Hub and I began dating we would hang out with Lana occasionally and some friends of hers, one of whom was Fred. They were just friends at that point, but this gives you a clear picture of how long Fred has been around. Lana was always very affectionate towards Hub, but she is also the kind of girl who kisses ME hello, on the lips, and thinks nothing of it, so it never really bothered me.
We grew up, did the college thing and lost touch with Lana and Fred. When we were planning our wedding, we ran in to them in a restaurant, together with a child and one on the way. We reconnected and started hanging out again fairly regularly. Fred stood up in our wedding. We considered them to be family.
Soon after though, Lana started rubbing me the wrong way. She would make these comments to Hub, always with a laugh, pretending she was kidding.
“Well, now that Saly’s pregnant, I guess you and I never have a chance.”
This one was when they were on the phone (Hub always talks on speaker) and I was in the other room. “I have this plan, that when Saly and Fred die, you and I will finally get to be together.”
And finally, a couple years ago “Hey Hub, how come you never asked me out when we were teenagers? How come you and I never hooked up?” This was said in front of me, in my living room. Hub and I just looked at each other, and I said “Are you kidding me??” and she just laughed it off. They have not been back at our house since.
Now, Fred works for Hub in some capacity, and they do come to our family parties and we haven’t cut them out of our lives or anything, but we definitely don’t just hang out anymore. Hub and Fred, maybe once in a while, but that’s it.
So on New Years, Lana texted Hub “Happy New Year, Babe!” and he ignored her. A few weeks ago, she texted him “Hey Hub, I’ve been thinking about you. I hope you’re doing well. I miss you!” which he also ignored, but also started to think that she was possibly being inappropriate. Then yesterday, she sent him the following: “Hi Hub. If I was able to get my hands on tickets for (musical in town this weekend) for Friday night, would you want to go with me?”
This is why I had to give the background to this story. That text alone is innocent enough—wanting to do something with her old friend, I guess. But I kind of think she was asking my husband out on a date. People get fancied up, and go downtown and see what ever show has come in for the week. It’s something 2 girlfriends would go see, or a couple. He hasn’t answered her yet because he doesn’t know how to play it.
These are the options he is considering:
1. Are you asking me out on a date? LOL! (and then seeing what her response is)
2. Are we talking 2 tickets or 4 tickets?
3. Deleting the text and pretending he never got it.
I think I am in favor of number 1, or a combination of 1 and 2. Either that or I’m going to take a drive and unleash my fists of fury.
What would you do in this situation? What would you have your husband do? Do you think it’s possible that I am overreacting? To be clear, Hub has shared all of this with me; I’m not a snooper. But seriously. What’s the best way to handle this little situation?