In Dreams

My dreams have been dark lately.

I should preface this by saying that about a month ago our 2 snails, the ones who were screwing all the time, died. They left their baby behind and we bought a new snail to keep him company since ED cried that the baby didn’t have any parents anymore!! Hub cleaned our tank over the weekend, and tragically, the baby snail died a few days later. He is lying crumpled and soft at the bottom of our fish tank.

This, while I was unaware, is apparently weighing heavily on me.

I dreamed of the baby last night, floating around in my womb, and then suddenly, I was looking at her from the outside of my belly, as if it were made of clear glass. And out of nowhere, she was curled in to a ball, and laying at the bottom of my belly. Lifeless.

I woke at 4AM in a panic. I could not remember waking and feeling her move during the night as I do on most other nights. She was not moving then either. I got up and went to the bathroom. Sat on the couch for a few minutes. Still, nothing. I contemplated eating or drinking some juice to make her move, but thought better of it since I’d have to reschedule my Synthroid for the day.

I told myself she was fine. It was just a dream. But I couldn’t shake the dread.

Finally, she wiggled a bit; I’m sure she was sleeping. I slept fitfully for another hour or so before getting up for work.

She has been kicking me hard today, right in the ribs. And I don’t think I have ever felt more relieved or gladder to be uncomfortable and mildly miserable.

Be safe Baby. Be healthy and strong.

Sweet Dreams.