Tuesday, April 8, 2008

In Dreams

My dreams have been dark lately.

I should preface this by saying that about a month ago our 2 snails, the ones who were screwing all the time, died. They left their baby behind and we bought a new snail to keep him company since ED cried that the baby didn’t have any parents anymore!! Hub cleaned our tank over the weekend, and tragically, the baby snail died a few days later. He is lying crumpled and soft at the bottom of our fish tank.

This, while I was unaware, is apparently weighing heavily on me.

I dreamed of the baby last night, floating around in my womb, and then suddenly, I was looking at her from the outside of my belly, as if it were made of clear glass. And out of nowhere, she was curled in to a ball, and laying at the bottom of my belly. Lifeless.

I woke at 4AM in a panic. I could not remember waking and feeling her move during the night as I do on most other nights. She was not moving then either. I got up and went to the bathroom. Sat on the couch for a few minutes. Still, nothing. I contemplated eating or drinking some juice to make her move, but thought better of it since I’d have to reschedule my Synthroid for the day.

I told myself she was fine. It was just a dream. But I couldn’t shake the dread.

Finally, she wiggled a bit; I’m sure she was sleeping. I slept fitfully for another hour or so before getting up for work.

She has been kicking me hard today, right in the ribs. And I don’t think I have ever felt more relieved or gladder to be uncomfortable and mildly miserable.

Be safe Baby. Be healthy and strong.

Sweet Dreams.

7 comments:

Jess said...

I love this end of the post. I wish those same things for your baby.

Emily said...

I have been having some dark dreams too. Not about the baby but just in general. Hopefully this passes soon for both of us.

Emily said...

I have been having some dark dreams too. Not about the baby but just in general. Hopefully this passes soon for both of us.

Pickles & Dimes said...

Oh, how terrifying. I'm glad she's been busy reminding you that she's OK.

I've been having scary, recurring dreams lately too. Something must be up.

Kristin.... said...

I hate when the dreams carry into the daytime. Puts me in a dark mood. Glad the baby wiggled around for you. Rib kicking isn't fun, but at least you know the baby's ok.

Mommy Daisy said...

Wow, that's scary. I'm glad all is really well though.

When I was pregnant I had a bad dream (I don't remember it now). I woke up screaming. I sat up in bed and screamed out loud. It woke me up then I knew I was just dreaming, but I sent Matt in a panic. Poor guy. He shot up out of bed right away, but I reassured him I'd just been dreaming. Yikes.

Misty said...

All I can do while reading this post is nod.

And think this: Yes. I know.