Status Updates I Could have posted to Facebook, but Saved for Here

SALY...


...mysteriously has only one swollen ankle. Or Kankle.

...is glad that the third time around, she remembers that all of the hair she has grown on her belly does go away.


...practiced really great parenting on the 4th of July.


...had happy kids over the holiday weekend.

...doesn't think that the Jon and Kate Plus 8 music video should make her blubber like a baby, but somehow, it does.



...is deathly afraid of water, and projected such fears on to her children. She eventually gave in though, and Bud lived.



...doesn't give a rat's ass about "his needs" when she is 36-weeks pregnant.




...is 36 weeks pregnant!!!! Her belly is bigger than her boobs!!



...looks like a sumo wrestler (with great hair).

...coughed so hard in the middle of the night that she threw up on the living room carpet. Cleaning up your own vomit at 2AM is very glamorous.



...is embarrassed when Lucy uses baby talk. Not because it's stupid and annoying (which it is), but because she wants everyone to know how smart and well spoken her 3-year-old actually is.

...is maybe a little bit shallow.

...definitely needs more sleep.

...can't wait to meet her new baby girl.

Mish Mosh

• I think that my blog is officially like “What the hell??” after receiving 40 comments yesterday and double that in hits. This contest thing is kind of weird. All of these bloggers that I’ve “seen around” but never visited were at my blog yesterday, and I was at theirs. It was like a mixer of sorts, huh?
• Though I usually do their shoe shopping on my own, I took Bud and Lucy with me last night so that they could try things on. Things were ok while I was taking care of Lucy, who ended up with some light-up princess sandals and a cute pair of pink Mary Jane style sneakers. Bud ran up and down the aisles a bit, but overall, he was manageable. While trying to find him a new pair of sneakers though, Lucy was a tyrant. Running, screaming, pulling things off of shelves—you name it. She was completely out of my control. Finally, she knocked a garbage can over causing a huge crash and then started screaming and crying “I’m sorry Mama!!” over and over again while flailing her arms in an all out freak-fest. The way she behaved you would think that she received regular beatings or something. She finally calmed down and then she and Bud locked the doors and put down the door stops while I was paying at which point the store manager yelled at them and gave me a dirty look. I can never go back there again. Lesson learned—we went right from school. I totally should have fed them first.
• Bud got a pair of Spiderman sandals, by the way, but no sneakers. I don’t know what it is about size 11.5, which is what he has worn for nearly a year. I can never find anything. (unless it’s really ugly) So I guess I’ll be checking out Target or something for new sneakers because he needs them for school.
• Things I have said in the last 2 days that I never thought I would: “Please take your mouth off of the garbage can!!” and “Why are your sneakers in the cupboard next to my clean plates?” (The answer was “So Lucy can’t find them and put them on……”) OMG.
• For Bud, today was the best day ever because they started work on our street. The equipment has been there since Friday, but this morning they actually started working……at 6AM. I was up already, but Bud came out of his room screaming “Mommy!! The back hoe!! The digger!!! A FORKLIFT!!!” They also put their outhouse on my neighbor’s lawn right across the street. She must be loving that. The good about this? We are getting a brand new street with proper drainage, new water lines to support sump pumps, brand new 4-foot wide cement sidewalks, and a tree out front. The bad? We can not park on the street (or in our driveways if we’d like to leave during the day) from like 7AM to 7PM. We live one house from the corner and Hub is going to ask our neighbor whose driveway is just around the corner if I could maybe park there during the day so that I don’t have to park at Walgreens or around the block or something.
• Did I mention that today is my actual last full day of work??? OMG!! There is so much to do!! We are having a baby!!!

Friday Free For All--The Random Mish Mosh of Things I Didn't Tell You This Week Edition

1. OH! So you wanted to hear actual details about my pregnancy related doctor’s visit this week? How rude of me! The hip pain and locking I’ve been experiencing is, in fact, sciatica. Who knew? I met the third and final doctor of my practice and she might be my favorite so far…she curses more than I do! She began documenting my chart re: the sciatica so that I can get out of work as soon as possible. Apparently, (according to her) “insurance companies typically don’t give a damn when it comes to pulling a woman from work because of sciatica. They’re all run by men who do not understand this pain.” So we’ll keep record of it and I’ll stick it out another week or two, and I’ll be done working. My insurance is pretty lenient though; I was pulled for a hemorrhoid the last time around….
2. Speaking of embarrassing pregnancy symptoms, I had a sneeze stuck all day yesterday. I kept getting the “ha ha….” But no “CHOO!”. Finally, at about 10PM the choo up and surprised me, and I, well, peed a little. The joys, right? What is the most embarrassing thing that happened to you while pregnant? For me, and nobody even knows, it was when I was 8-months pregnant with Lucy and we were in Virginia Beach. Our second night there, we decided to take Bud for a dip in the pool. I was amazed at how relaxing the water was; I felt light, and comfortable, and didn’t have 15lbs resting on my bladder. We stayed in for quite a while—I even stated for a bit once Hub and Bud were done. Getting out was the issue. Standing on the deck, all of the sudden my legs were warm. I thought “well what the…..did my water break??” Oh no. All of the pressure being back on my bladder caused me involuntarily pee. I couldn’t do anything but laugh hysterically, and be glad that nobody else was around. (The second most embarrassing pregnancy thing for me was Bud pulling down my whole shirt, from the neck, in the grocery store. There were exposed breasts involved. Maybe THIS is the most embarrassing…..)
3. I have developed a craving for anything containing apple compote. The Tim Horton’s by our house has a delicious apple cheese danish and I have had to set a serious limit on myself to 2 per day. I’m glad that none of the others in my daily path carry them, for I would be in big trouble. McDonald’s apple pies do not figure in to my 2 per day limit, in case you were wondering.
4. Lucy has taken to a fun new game where she asks such questions as “what if I turned in to a table?” or “what if I turned in to the ceiling?” I’ve taken to wanting to hurl myself out the window.
5. We took a really fun trip to Canada’s Wonderland yesterday, which is actually where Dora and Diego live. Spongebob was visiting from the Ocean as well. Despite being stuck in traffic for 3 hours on the way home, it was a great day. We took it really slow, and let the kids do pretty much whatever they wanted. We were afraid Lucy would be too small for the rides, but she just made it. It was our first big outing without a stroller, and it was missed—not for kid-porting, but for storage. Olivia will give us reason to use it again soon though!!! Here are a few photos:


Bud Lucy and Me on a Swan Boat. (Alternate title: Holy Bazongas!!!!)



Watching Bud Ride



You should have heard him trash-talking the other kids! "You're going in to the wall...I'm slamming you in to it. You'll never hit my car!" and so on...



Diego is a bit creepy, no? A lot creepy? Yeah...



Didn't stop Lucy though....



BY FAR Lucy's favorite ride



My absolute favorite photo of the day



Here it is the right way though

6. I am back to work on Monday, so more regular posting will follow. I am committed to catching up on blogs now, before Hub gets home. It's impossible to get on the computer when he's home. I am fearing that my blog will be severely lacking while I'm on maternity leave.

Friday Free For All--Work Stuff

1. I had a minor nervous breakdown on Tuesday when I was working late and could not find my evening Zantac in my purse. The laughter of my employees brought me out of it, as I had the entire contents of my purse, including tampons (um, why are they still there??) spread across my desk. For some reason, none of us could stop laughing. I did find the pill, entangled in about 400 receipts held together with a broken off pen top.
2. We actually laugh a lot at work. One of my employees is a complete germophobe and slathers her entire body in antibacterial gel about 30 times a day. Another employee came over last Friday to tell me that she had seen the girl disinfect the change she just got back from the pop machine. I laughed so hard that I cried. I’ve thought about rubbing my ass on her keyboard A la Elaine, but she actually wipes down her entire desk when she gets in every morning.
3. Tomorrow is my scheduled Saturday to work. I was thinking about taking some photos of my desk to show the world where I blog from. You might be disgusted though because I keep it in a horrible state of disarray. But I know where everything is.
4. I still have one of three bags of Munchos left. You thought I didn’t have any self control.
5. My boss regularly sends me links to check out celebrity gossip and odd things she finds online. She is the best laid back kind of boss there is. She’s also a bad influence on me when it comes to eating and shopping, which is why I have to be well on track with a post-pregnancy diet before I get back to work.
6. We have an employee in my department who has “chemical sensitivity”. A few years ago it was mandated that nobody on our side of the building wear perfume/cologne/scented lotions and no cleaners from home were allowed. We actually invested in this vinegar based cleaner that 1. smells like, well, vinegar (or douche, I’m told) and 2. does not do a very good job. This employee lost a lot of weight last year and all of the sudden we noticed the smell of perfume on her. Scented hairspray too. And she started coloring her own hair. Nobody takes precautions any longer; however the “chemical sensitivity” signs are still posted all over our side of the building.
7. Our coffee machines dispense coffee for free. It is not good coffee. We are not allowed to brew coffee at our desks, or have any other small appliances either.
8. We have an unofficial Lactation Room that despite my booking months in advance had people in it holding meetings at my designated times. I found an abandoned office with a lock and no windows the last time around, but we have since remodeled. I am contacting site management to turn the original room in to an official Lactation Room so that nursing mothers no longer have to worry about being evacuated to the bathroom in order to bring milk home to their babies. (I use an electric pump anyway, so the bathroom thing does not fly for me.)

Just Stuff

1. I am booked solid from 11:00-3:30 today and then have another meeting at 4. Here is the question: When the hell am I going to eat?? Hopefully the 3 bags of Munchos I bought from the vending machine yesterday (they were $.50!! A Bargain!! I couldn’t just buy one!!) will 1. get me through the day and 2. Not crunchily annoy the folks I am on the phone with.
2. I’m tired of people talking about gas prices. I realize it is expensive and a pain in the ass, but guess what—the majority of us have no other choice than to suck it up. So let’s stop making idle chit chat about it, and reporting about “NEW RECORD HIGHS!!” on the news. Let me tell you this—I filled my tank last Wednesday and it cost me $92.00. I am just now at half a tank. I’m going to assume that this will get me through Sunday because we have some extra driving to do---so 11 days for one tank at $92.00. it costs me $8.36 a day to drive to and from work, to the grocery store, gymnastics, Tim Horton’s, Tae Kwon Do, and/or Starbucks. If I took the bus to all of these different places, even if I had a monthly bus pass, it would cost me $8.33 per day PLUS a hell of a lot more time with walking from stop to stop, waiting, and changing bus lines. It is worth the extra $.03. Also—people need to stop sending the “boycott Exxon and Mobil” emails. Here’s a fun fact about gas which I learned when jack of all trades Hub owned a gas station for a few years: The majority of gas (at least in this area), regardless of where YOU buy it from, is purchased from Exxon or Mobil. You may be buying it at say, Getty, but it is probably Exxon/Mobil fuel. So there!!
3. Why do I need to continually explain to Lucy that fruit snacks are not an appropriate breakfast food?
4. A casual acquaintance (co-worker who takes her kid to our daycare) asked me last week about how I was feeling and I mentioned that this was the hardest pregnancy thus far. She had the nerve to say to me “Well, it does get harder with age……” Um, 1. How old do you think I am? And 2. Go to hell.
5. My hair is ridiculously long, thanks to prenatal vitamins AND being too lazy to have it trimmed. It is also 48 times fuller than it normally is. I bought Herbal Essences Dangerously Straight shampoo, and it works like a dream to tame all of the body. This is the type of shampoo that would give me limp locks when not pregnant, but it is SO the right thing for my hair right now. There are few things better than finding a good shampoo, no?

Friday Free For All (28-week check-up edition)

• I don’t have Gestational Diabetes!! Hooray! No more of that orange crap!!
• I am in the “meet all of the doctors in our practice in case they deliver your baby” phase. I met Dr. 2 of 3 today and liked her just as much as my regular doctor. I feel very validated in changing practices.
• As of now, I am on every 2 week visits. The third trimester!! Holy Hell!!
• Doctor asked “how many kids is this for you???” and when I said 3 she immediately asked me what I was doing about birth control post-baby. What if I said nothing?? (I said Mirena because I’ve heard it’s an excellent option for breastfeeding moms and she agreed stating “more effective than tubal ligation!! They should put that on a billboard.)
• She wants me to see a surgeon regarding my hernia. They will probably do nothing while I am pregnant, however, it’s better to have a relationship with someone incase something does happen. So I’ll schedule that shortly.
• To date I have gained 18 lbs. I weigh right now what I did at the end of my pregnancy with Bud. (shoot harpoon me)
• I am measuring 2 weeks ahead of schedule, which is on par for me. We will be evaluating size between 34 and 36 weeks.
• Olivia kicked or punched the Doppler in every spot the doctor placed it. Already, she has SPUNK. (I am in for it………)

In blast from the past news: The last song I heard on my way in today was Michael Jackson “Black or White”. Wasn’t this the coolest video back in the day? I loved Macauley Culkin and the morphing faces! Then my very favorite show at the time, “In Living Color” spoofed it. “Am I black or white, please tell me! We don’t know!” It’s funny what you remember when you least expect it. This goes back to me being in 8th grade—like 15 years.

On one hand, reminiscing is good, but the other hand makes me want to vomit.

I’m old.

Minor Annoyance

1. I just got an email from Target that the going home outfit I ordered will not ship until at least 7/15. Yeah, that’s a problem. I’m only somewhat irritated though because upon closer inspection of the baby clothes we already have, it is the exact same outfit Lucy came home in. Both kids came home in a Winnie the Pooh outfit that came with hat and booties. I would like something similar for Olivia but I’m not sure what. More shopping for me……yay.

This is the only picture I have of Bud coming home????


Here's Lucy!

2. Hub just called because his mother called to ask him which I prefer: silver or gold. The short answer is none of the above. I am annoyed for 2 reasons---1. Hub should know that the answer is white gold AND that anything that is not 100% gold will give me a horrific rash. 2. Both of them should know that I do not wear jewelry and buying me jewelry gives me this awkward feeling of obligation to wear it OR makes me feel like crap when after say, 3 years you have never seen me wear the earrings you bought me. Seriously, I can’t even be bothered to wear my wedding ring. People should know this.
3. I have to go to three banks on my lunch break which I pretty much think is shit.
4. Lucy is constipated and it’s not her diet. She just plain refuses to poop. I sat on the floor in the bathroom with her for about 20 minutes last night letting her hug me while she squeezed it out—she screamed and cried the entire time. Who knew that being a mother could be so glamorous? And also, thanks to Hub for teaching her to say “I growed a big tail!!”
5. Bud has a Tae Kwon Do expo on Saturday. There is no way he’s going to do it in front of anyone who is not normally there. I’m not looking forward to it.
6. Hub has also invited a friend over on Saturday to help him finish tearing out the kitchen—which is great!. His friend is bringing his 8 and 5-year-old because his wife is out of town, which leaves me responsible for 4 children. Great news—it will be cold and rainy!! We’ll all be cooped up in the living room!
7. It is times like these when I miss booze.

Random Crap and Questions

I still have not bought my husband a birthday gift because I am a horrible excuse for a human being. Honestly, I just don’t know what to do. There is one thing in the world that he wants, but I think he’ll be upset with me because of the money. But why shouldn’t I spend it? Especially when he’s offered to take me to the new maternity store in town, that offers pregnancy massage and all kinds of other cool stuff, tomorrow…on his birthday. I don’t know. I have to go out after work tonight and make a decision because I wasn’t able to get out on my lunch today. 1st day of the month and work is a horror. I was up to my eyeballs in reports until about 12:30, taking a few minutes here and there to browse blogs in order to save my sanity. I will not miss the monthly reporting when I am off. No Siree.

We are thinking of cancelling the install for our kitchen. Hub thinks it’s ridiculous to pay close to $2k to install some cabinets when he is the one doing the entire tear-out and redesign. The guy is literally coming in to hang cupboards. He’s probably right; but I just want it to be so perfect. I’m going to trust him; I typically do on these matters anyway.

Have any of you gone to a home show, like at your local convention center? Hub gave our number (read, MY cell phone) to several companies and when they are calling to make appointments, they are insistent on both of us being there. Like, one person can’t make the decision. When Hub tells them that he is the one at home and that I work full time, they want to come out on Saturday or Sunday……or like, FRIDAY NIGHT! So we can both be there……it makes no sense to me. I flat out told someone who called last night that I didn’t care and that Hub makes house decisions---it was some gutter crap or something---why do I care about gutters??? OH! I don’t!! Anyhoo, the lady on the phone asked me if I could just be there as a personal favor to her because she gets in trouble if only one spouse is at the consult. WTF? Sure, Patty my dear old friend….as a personal favor to you. IDIOT.

Can someone remind me to pay my cell phone bill today? Kthanks.

So I used the pseudonyms yesterday……was it weird for anybody? The feeling of typing out “Lucy” and “Bud” was akin to speaking with marbles in my mouth. So should I try and get used to it? Should I resort back to ED and CA? Should I just use their real names for the love of Pete? Is it vain of me to assume that someone would specifically google my kid’s names in an effort to read about my life? Seriously? We all know it’s not about anonymity---billions of you know my full name because of Swistle and the Facebook and I don’t care. (Billions, HA, now that’s vain) It shouldn’t be this hard. But if I’m keeping the pseudonyms, I have to update my profile.

I’m babbling because I am wicked tired. I actually slept in bed all night and I feel worse than if I’d been on the couch.

I have to sort all of my reports to present at 2:00 PM so I guess I’m ending this now.

The Long and Winding Post.......

I mentioned the other day that I wanted to get away from using initials for my kid’s names. I’m pretty set on calling CA “Lucy” as that is what I call her at home anyway. The Bean will be Olivia because we can’t use it but I love it. Much like choosing a boy’s name though, choosing a pseudonym for ED is excruciating! Nothing fits. He is nothing to me other than his name. I call him Handsome and Bud at home, but those don’t fit here. I should just say SCREW IT and go back to using their real names. Everyone knows them anyway. It’s just the whole searching thing. If someone searched all 3 kid’s names, surely they would find this Blog, correct? This is stupid. And hard.

I’m ready to stop working now. Really really ready. The official countdown is 99 days! DOUBLE DIGITS!! But I anticipate giving birth between 7/21 and 7/28 which puts us at about 11-12 weeks to go. (Watch me go like 10 days overdue or some crap) Seriously though, with how low she is, my back is killing me consistently, I have my usual pregnancy related hip pain, and now I have this hernia to contend with, which is actually pretty sore. Work is also ridiculously busy and stressful on top of it, so it seems like a good idea to be done sooner than later. I’m at the point where I would be paid for any time off as long as it was medically necessary and documented (2 weeks per year of service times 8 years=16 weeks of paid time off prior to Maternity Leave) I planned on working at least through 7/15 and friends, I don’t think it’s going to happen. My issue is with my monthly bonus—I have to work at least one day in the month to qualify for it. So….June 1st? July 1st? I have 9 vacation days plus Memorial Day off in May so I think I can get through it.

I also have until tomorrow to decide the kid’s summer daycare schedule. When I had CA, ED was still at the old center and they were very flexible. I dropped him down to 2 days a week to get him out of the house as well as to give me alone time with CA. The new center, not so flexible. They can go MWF or T/THU. I think that for consistency, the MWF is the best, and I do receive my full pay while I am out, so no big deal. I just wish we could go Tues/Weds/Thurs instead and then have them home Friday through Monday. 3 days on, 4 days off, you know? Maybe if I sat down and talked with the director……but I really don’t want to.

Hub’s birthday is Friday; he will be 32. I still have not got him a gift. I still don’t know what to get him. I actually know what I want to get him, but I think he will be upset with the cost. I don’t know. I have the day off and we are planning on doing lunch at the Casino where they have a huge buffet. We go there exclusively to eat, we almost never gamble. Then we’ll have cake at home after we pick up the kids. Is it wrong that I’m stressing out about not being near the computer all day for Swistle’s Big Reveal? Thankfully, I can check email and read Blogs through the internet browser on my phone. I just can’t comment.

My mother really irritated me on Sunday which I neglected to mention yesterday. ED was being a real pisser at dinner, pouting and just being nasty overall. After Hub said something he didn’t like he said “Well FINE THEN!” I’m, not eating!!” Hun took his drink away, stating the obvious—he wasn’t drinking pop if he wasn’t eating dinner. ED broke down in hysterics so Hub took him out of the restaurant. My mother was appalled “all of that for a little bit of acting out?” I told her it is the only way to deal with him; the only thing that works. “I think it’s too much and it really bothers me.” Again, you do not deal with this kid on a daily basis. When he gets in this sort of mood you have to physically remove him from the situation in order to break it. “So what, now they’re not going to eat dinner??” They will be back in a few minutes; ED just needs time to relax. “Well, it really bothers me.” I wanted to say really hurtful things, relating to the way my youngest brother acts and behaves—that maybe if she had used some different tactics he wouldn’t be the way he is. But I bit my tongue. She feels bad enough about my brother as it is. And sure enough, Hub and ED returned less than 5 minutes later, with ED happy as a clam. I don’t appreciate my parenting being criticized. Here’s the thing—we will put up with silliness, and we can tolerate moods/acting out to an extent—it is typical preschool/toddler behavior. But when it turns in to total bullshit, it is plain not allowed. We have happy, well adjusted, and for the most part, very well behaved children. I felt like she was implying we were beating them or something……we don’t even spank them. I feel better getting that out---much better.

I am treating myself to Burger King for lunch today. Hub picked up food for himself and the kids yesterday but nothing for me because 1. I haven’t been eating much for dinner and 2. He didn’t know what I would want. Of course, this put me on the warpath……but I can recover by getting my own Whopper today. I’m excited, which in a word, is sad.

Finally, out of the mouth of my baby, I offer you three recent revelations. The first, after hearing someone on TV mention their boyfriend: “I have two boyfriends, Merrick and Davin……” At dinner on Friday she stood up, pointed to Hub and said “what the hell is the matter with you!!” (That one is all me…) And on the way home the other day “Mommy, we don’t say sum of the bitch, we say sum of the gun, right?” (I take no credit for that one though…she heard it from my dad on Easter…one time…and has been obsessed ever since.)

Friday Free For All

• This is actually my 100th entry here, however I have 143 entries over here, so I’m not celebrating. If you want to know 100 things about me, you can read them here.
• I am getting bored of using abbreviations for the kid’s names on here. It’s tiring. I don’t want to use their real names because I don’t want my immediate family to find me, however typing ED and CA is annoying me. Would it be too confusing if I changed their names to pseudonyms?
• I think that the parents at daycare think I am a bad mom. They must. They all dress their kids in long sleeves and pants. It is in the 50’s in the morning……but it will be 80 degrees this afternoon, so I dress my kids in shorts and t-shirts with a jacket for the morning.
• I’ve never been big on the whole bundling the kids or even a newborn phenomenon anyway. I dress them the way that I would dress myself. This drives my mother INSANE. I still remember her covering ED with tons of blankets after he was born, when he was already in a blanket sleeper. Irritating! He was warm enough. Both of my kids, like Hub are warm all the time anyway.
• Did I ever mention that I did, in fact, have strep throat this week? (for some reason I just wrote french toast instead of strep throat—weird) What a miserable freaking experience.
• I decided last night, that since I hadn’t slept in my own bed all week due to acid reflux, that I was not eating any dinner. It worked; I slept in bed without coughing up food in the middle of the night. I did wake up starving on several occasions though. Not sure which was worse?
• We have decided not to travel to Atlanta next month. There is no way I am sitting in a car for 13 hours. We will take a shorter, and closer (read cheaper) trip instead. Regardless of what we do I am off for a week and a half—YIPPEE!
• It smells like pizza and wings in here and it is making me nauseous. Tonight is pizza night at home. BOO!
• Oh! I updated my links for who I’m reading. Check out the newbies!
• ED’s injury is completely healed. He is no worse for the wear. YAY.

Random Crap and a (somewhat) Rhetorical Question

I promised ED I would take him to buy flip flops tonight. Do you think he’ll forget? Since we started in the kitchen, he’s been wearing mine……apparently, he hates his slippers now and he NEEDS flip flops. From “Oh Maybe’s” [Old Navy] Ok then Mr. Opinion. CA, I’m sure, will insist that she needs some as well, even though I just ordered her some from TCP……they just haven’t arrived (or even shipped for that matter and it has been 10 days) yet. I hear that Payless is doing BOGO right now though, so maybe I can score some new (ahem--slightly larger) summer shoes while we are out.

I had my glucose tolerance test this morning and it was horrific. My old doctor had this backwoods formula that involved drinking a can of orange crush ½ hour before your appointment and then she drew your blood when you came in. The new doctor…not so much. That bottle of orange melted freezy pop with extra sugar was enough to take me over the edge. Vomit city. I thought it was maybe like a shot of something, a sip or two-but a WHOLE BOTTLE?? Yuck. About 20 minutes after I drank it, I started feeling shaky, dizzy and nauseous which does nothing but leave me to wonder “is my body processing this correctly or incorrectly??” I don’t even know what I’ll do if I have to go back for the second test. I was nauseous until a few hours ago.

Have any of you given any thought to the kind of parent you will be when your kids are grown? I imagine myself having weekly family dinners, with a house full of grand kids, and daily phone calls. I can’t imagine not touching a piece of their life on a daily basis. These may be high hopes on my part, but do you get what I’m saying? If one of my kids had the evening off, and her husband was working, and my only plan was to go up to the casino—I would jump at the chance to meet up with her and her kids for dinner--ESPECIALLY after I just got back from a week in another country—I can go to the casino anytime, right? But apparently, this isn’t how all parents operate. Some value their own time. I’m just sayin’. (Jaded much, Sara? Bitter much?) Maybe I’ll feel different when I’m in my 50’s and my kids have lives of their own. But I can’t imagine that I will.

The work day has gone fast and soon I’ll be leaving to get the kiddos—apparently we will be dining on our own. Wish me luck in navigating the store with them!

P.S. thank you all for your comments on yesterday's post. You all are the bomb digity!!

A Ramblin' and A Ravin'

First, please go and congratulate one of my favorite bloggers, Bananafana who had her baby on Saturday!!!! Hooray!!

I feel compelled to tell you that I spent $152 at JCP on Saturday. I went in for a gift for my cousin, and came out overly excited about their kid’s sale. We drove home and I put the kids in for a nap, and promptly returned to the mall to make my haul. I ended up with 7 outfits and 2 pair of shoes for CA, 3 outfits and several shirts for ED and 2 outfits for The Bean. I also picked up 2 outfits for my niece. The only disappointment was the poor show of shorts in ED’s size. Darn him for not fitting in to the toddler sizes any longer. Basically though, the sale was as long as you bought at least 3 items, everything was 50% off. THEN I had a coupon for $20 off $100 and $15 off $75 and they let me use both. I saved over $200---not that JCP ever has their stuff not on sale……but I still feel accomplished. Anyhoo, aside from shorts for ED I am pretty well set for them for this summer.

The mall happened to be swarmed with Canadians picking up some great deals with their great $$ and the parking was ridiculous, so I parked in a secret place I have, and walked over to JCP. I neglected to think it through though, since I had to lug all of the clothes all the way back to my great spot. I’m still sore. Can I just mention though, to the folks casually meandering through the mall……KNOCK IT OFF!!! WALK WITH A PURPOSE!! IF I CAN WADDLE FASTER THAN YOU, YOU ARE GOING TOO SLOW!!!! Ok, I feel better.


Yesterday I started pulling out and organizing summer clothes from the basement to add to what I bought and see if we needed anything else, along with putting away clothes that no longer fit the kiddos. I put all of the boxes of ED’s clothes in the back corner and moved all of CA’s clothes to the front, as we will be using them again. I pulled out the boxed of blankets, bibs and burp cloths and other misc baby stuff for hub to bring upstairs. He asked me if I thought it was a bit soon, to which I replied “I AM SIX MONTHS PREGNANT!!!” I mean, seriously. It’s time to get organized here. I’m not going to be in the position of not even having the car seat and bassinette ready like we were when CA showed up 2-weeks early. Let’s just get it the hell done already.

6-months along and everything led me to my doctor’s appointment this morning. Everything looks good, though it seems I’ve developed an umbilical hernia. Gross. I mentioned it because it is starting to hurt, but apparently, especially after multiple pregnancies, it’s pretty normal and should go away after I deliver. In any case, it is a severely disgusting bulge. Can you believe that after my next appointment I am up to every 2 weeks? Holy hell!! It really is moving fast!

Friday Fun with a Twist!!

Mommy Brain tagged me like 2 weeks ago for the 7 facts MEME which I have already done here, so I thought that I would give it a little twist. Here are 7 fun facts about each of my family members.

Hub

1. He has been in business for himself as a carpet cleaner for the last 7 years. As a previous “corporate whore” he says there is no way he could ever work for “the man” again.
2. He loves to cook and is really very good at it. His favorite thing to make me is broiled fish, which I love. But he ALWAYS forgets to buy a lemon.
3. He aspires to be handy around the house. His problem---he has no patience. He is getting better though.
4. He was a Theatre Major in college and acted in several productions.
5. He was also the stage manager for the college dance troupe.
6. He always read the paper while we are watching TV and I never tell him that it drives me crazy.
7. He is more family oriented than I ever thought he would be. He’s always the one to suggest fun family activities.

ED
1. He weighed 10lbs 2 oz at birth; his cheeks were so fat they looked like they would fall right off of his face.
2. His favorite way to comfort himself is to twirl my hair around his fingers; he is a mama’s boy through and through
3. Like me, he is extremely over-sensitive and has a tendency to be shy until he knows people---then he will talk your ear off. It is very hard for him to be in awkward situations.
4. He and Hub’s dad are like kindred spirits or something. They are the best of friends. (It’s cute, but also annoying)
5. His first sentence, at 11 months old was “More corn please.”
6. Corn is one of the only veggies I can still get him to eat. He used to eat EVERYTHING. He is finally getting better though, especially if I let him help me cook.
7. He refuses to answer to his full first name (E.dmu.nd) or to write it out when his teacher tells him to at school. He’ll say, “No, there’s another D and an I and an E.”

CA

1. She was covered in hair from head to toe at birth. I felt funny putting her in sundresses because of her hairy shoulders.
2. She is the best eating 2-year-old I know, asking for things like salad and fruit. When we go to a restaurant, she orders broccoli. The one thing she hates: tomatoes.
3. On her first birthday, she only had 2 teeth. She popped the rest of them last summer just before she turned two. I could tell when she was getting molars because she would run a high fever and throw up every time.
4. Like her father, she is very outgoing and talkative. For a two-year-old she has an amazing vocabulary. She really talks constantly.
5. Still like her father, (and not at all like me) she is a determined go-getter. She potty-trained herself in one day just after she turned 2, both day and night time. It was her decision, not ours. She has always been that way, doing what she wants when she wants to and doing whatever she can to get her own way.
6. When she is not talking, she is singing. She especially loves to sing in the car and will serenade us for hours on end. She totally gets this from me.
7. She also loves dancing and gymnastics. Her favorite dance: The chicken dance. Her favorite part of gymnastics: jumping on the trampoline and somersaults down the ramp.

Sarcasm and Self Pity Must Make for a Good Post

I’m tired and crabby. I even went for a walk on my lunch break ( I KNOW, RIGHT???) to alleviate the crabby, and it did not help. I did feel great while I was doing it though; I’m just right back where I started from.

I think there is a honeymoon phase in pregnancy—you are done being sick and you feel pretty good. I am so done with that phase, if it ever existed. I’m sore, and hot and moderately miserable thanks to the 24-hour heartburn that seems to exist even with the 2 pepcid I take per day. I asked Hub to turn on the AC around 3AM, and he very politely suggested that I crack a window. It was 40 degrees outside. I was roasting though—I sure can’t wait for the summer!! What’s really great is the way my hips give out at odd intervals. This has happened during both of my previous pregnancies as well. Why don’t I think of these things before I go and get knocked up.

Someone just told me not to have a fourth baby. Why? Because her sister had a 4th and has regretted it every day since. Nice. Thank you so much for sharing; I do appreciate your opinion.

And please stop telling me “Oh, there will be more kids than adults! HA HA HA!” Fools. We have a 3rd adult in our house for one thing (well. I guess I’d count FIL as .5 adult---but whatev), and for another, just STFU. Seriously.

And can you believe my eye doctor wants to reschedule since I’m pregnant. My eyes are SCREWY right now. But apparently, it could be pregnancy related.

Speaking of pregnancy related, I think I have carpal tunnel. I think that is what caused my wrist to give out and dump a whole pot of boiling water on my other hand. Yet I type away.

And also--I wnet through all of our baby clothes this weekend. Up until then it completely escaped me that I gave all of our newborn baby girl clothes away. PHRICK!

And finally, it seems I am hit in the face with all of the things can go wrong in pregnancy on a daily basis, via the internet. I happened to google the name we are considering, 1st and middle, and the very first thing that came up was a baby who was stillborn, and her entire story, complete with photos of her posed with family members. It was so incredibly tragic and I cried for this poor family, but it also creeped me the hell out. I totally respect the family’s right, and they did what they needed to do to get through it, but I wish I never saw it.

And since we’re jumping around here in a ridiculous fashion, do you know how much it’s going to cost us to do our upstairs? Do you also know how hard it will be for us to get a loan, since for construction people only want to lend you a portion of what they think your property will be worth after it’s complete? It’s starting to look like we’ll be hiring someone to do the framing, and will probably do the rest ourselves. How fun does that sound?? With preschoolers and a newborn! I can’t wait!!

And finally, Hub’s trip to California in the fall has been extended to be about 5 days long. The bride wants him out there by the Thursday before the wedding. The wedding is on Sunday people. We are talking 5 days of me home alone with 3 kids. My mother has offered to come and help me. I’m not sure which prospect is worse?

I need some ice cream.

Thursday Three

1.

Hell Yes. I would forgo my previously required 30th birthday bash in favor of front row tickets to their reunion tour. And might I say Donnie, you have NEVER looked better. Tivo is set for The Today Show tomorrow morning. And if my BFF wasn’t 8 months preggo, we would be on our way to NYC right now.
2. I scalded my hand this morning making tea for Hub. I actually cried; it hurt so badly. I have iced it all day and it still kills and is very swollen. Any suggestions on pregnancy ok pain relief? I’m typing this with one hand which is so not cool.
3. Um, Oreo Shakes from BK? YUMMY!

Coping Mechanisms

Some of you commented after my L OV E post that I seemed to be in a really good place, especially considering that I am nearing the 6-month mark. That was more of a diversion tactic, because seriously, folks, I am miserable. I have never had such horrific back and hip pain, my wrists are killing me, the prescription on my glasses is just off enough to be bothersome, and I can’t sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. We ran in to 3 children with the name of our choice at various activities over the weekend. Seriously, my friends, miserable.

Work is stupid too. Everyone here behaves like a child. It amazes me that while at work; people put their personal agenda ahead of that of the business. What the hell are we paying these people for?

Here is what is helping me cope:

• White toast with butter and honey in mass quantities.
• Decaf Honey Lattes from Starbucks
• Lunchtime “browsing” trips to Target
• Honey Crullers from Tim Horton’s
• Jon and Kate Plus 8
• Taking CA to gymnastics (gymnasKICKS! As she calls it) and watching her do the entire class
• Apple Pie A la Coldstone (this was a one time thing, but sooooo delicious)

My coping tactics are probably leading me to gestational diabetes.

The installers are giving us a hard time, as in not calling us back, about the kitchen. Hub needs to do his schedule. I need to schedule a few days off to help with clearing the kitchen out, and they won’t give us an install date. Hub cursed {insert home improvement chain here} out for about 30 minutes last night and they promised him a call from the installer this morning. We still haven’t heard. The cupboards are taking up more than half of our garage, so they need to get on it already!

I have decided to take the week of Memorial Day off of work as well. I have a comp day saved, so with the paid holiday, I only have to use 3 vacation days. I’m angling to have 10 weeks off after The Bean is born and still have my time off at Thanksgiving and Christmas. So far I am doing ok. 8 weeks until vacation and then 6 more weeks that I plan on working before going out on short term DB. When you break it down like that, it doesn’t sound bad at all, does it? 14 more weeks of work; I think I can do that!

L O V E

I love this point in pregnancy, when the baby is moving so much, and she still has a lot of room to work with. I feel every tiny kick and punch and watch my belly move like it is a circus. I can place my hand on my belly and feel her kick inside and out.

I love this point in pregnancy, when I feel like the baby has a personality. We are using her name daily, integrating her in to our lives before she is here. We are slowly preparing for her debut, and it is more exciting by the day.

I love that it is no less exciting the third time around than it was the first time around.

I love that when I get home from work on Tuesdays and Thursdays, CA is waiting at the top of the stairs to greet me with one of her signature hugs. She tells me without fail “Mama, it’s so nice to have you back home!!”

I love that she gives me the same hug at bedtime and after hearing it from me over and over, says “I give the best hugs!”.

I love that ED can put things in to perspective. If today is Friday, it is pizza night—and that means tomorrow is Saturday and there is no school.

I love that he has legitimate interests and can spend hours in his own world zooming trucks back and forth, sorting and organizing his little cars, or just conversing like an adult with his Grandfather.

I love that my kids are old enough to entertain each other while I laze on the couch after work as the week comes to an end.

I love that they, like me, are bored with going for a walk when we get to the corner, and are content to turn around and go home.

I love that my husband isn’t giving me a hard time about not keeping up on the housework during the week.

I love that he doesn’t mind my granny panties.

I love that he brings home little surprises for the kids after being out all night working.

I love that it upsets him that he is not home for a lot of dinners and bedtimes, and makes up for it by making the time that he is home count.

I love that we have decided to stay in our house and work on it piece by piece instead of packing up and starting from scratch.

I love that our cabinets are here, and our kitchen is really going to be done soon; and that we got an amazing deal on our countertop and sink.

I love that despite a snowstorm last night, we are starting to see signs of spring and warmth.

I love that it isn’t dark when I’m driving home from work anymore.

I love that the ducks have returned to our business park and waddle around in their male/female pairs and will soon be leading their ducklings around.

I love that Starbucks has introduced a delicious Honey Late right in the middle of my honey-craving phase.

I love that I have money to blow on Starbucks.

I love that I have the time in my workday to blog and comment to my heart’s content.

I love that I will have at least 10 weeks of paid time off this summer.

I love that I have the ability to take paid time off before the baby is here.

I love that I am ok with having nothing good to end this with.

Sooooooo...

• CA is probably fine. Dusty either doesn’t know how to read x-rays or was taking some extra precautions, but the orthopedic surgeon did not see any buckle or fracture—apparently a 2-year-old’s bones are still soft and there is still a lot of cartilage and things can be hard to determine. He took the temporary cast off, and she was able to move it with no problems. He suggested letting her wear the cast, if she would keep it on, for the next week or so, and removing it for bathing. He seemed to think that once she realized she was fine without it though, it would be hard to get her to wear it. He was right; she took it off in her sleep last night. He will see her again on Monday for new x-rays to be sure; but it’s a safe bet that she is fine.
• Since I was already out of work, CA and I picked ED up and took him to the early Tae Kwon Do class. To say that he was a real piss pot is an understatement. He wouldn’t start the class with the other kids (there were 2 new boys) and when he did go out there, he sat behind the teacher, facing the class, and goofed off. He poked and distracted the teacher and was a real distraction for the other kids. The last straw was when he took his belt and started dragging it all over the floor. I grabbed him, put his shoes on, and we left. I have never been more embarrassed. He spent the entire night in his room, with the exception of dinner. I’m reasonably sure that being tired and hungry played in to all of this, as he refused his lunch yesterday (potato pancakes) and had his snack taken away from him for smashing it on the table. Combine that with the 8lbs of Easter candy and being out late on Sunday……I don’t know, to me it is inexcusable. I’m not entirely sure where to go from here.
• My hips, tailbone and legs are so stiff and sore; I think the baby must be laying on something. I’ve never been in this much pain while pregnant.
• A friend at work, has a friend who had a baby today……guess what they named her?? ***sigh***
• Hub felt the baby move for the first time on Sunday. YAY!
• Have I ever mentioned that we earn points at work? They are much like credit card points; you can use them for travel or merchandise. I now have close to 10,000 thanks to figuring out how the hell Visio works, and creating 5 flow charts before I left at 1:30 yesterday. Anyway, I’m trying to decide what to do with them. I could get a new high chair and bouncy seat, I could get a new camera, I could get the pasta attachment and the grinder attachment for my mixer, or I could get a Wii. There are actually a million other things I could get as well. What would you do?? Be practical or be frivolous?
• I went to WalMart on lunch, to (finally) get some comfortable underwear, and ended up buying 6 dresses and 3 creepers for The Bean—I spent less than $40. I typically don’t like their clothes, but these were cute. I’m glad to have some new things for her so she won’t completely be the handy-me-down kid.
• Our cabinets are in!! We have to tear apart our kitchen and decide on a floor to prepare for the install. Holy crap!! It’s really going to happen! Maybe I’ll add “before” photos to the list of photos I’ve been meaning to post here.

10 For Thursday

1. I came in to work early again today because my calendar is booked solid from 9-4. I am double booked twice and I have to do 2 interviews. What the heck?? Of course, instead of getting work done, here I am……

2. Hub has worked every night this week leaving me to deal with the kids on my own. It’s not really a big deal, but I sure am wiped out. He will be home tonight until 10, so I feel like I’m getting a break.

3. I have 2 videos that I want to post and I keep forgetting to upload them. One is of ED on the sled, screaming up to Hub after he says “all right ED!” that he is actually Jeff Gordon. The other is of CA who wanted to watch herself sing the ABC’s on camera. So we recorded that, and then she insisted on singing “I love you”. Maybe tonight.

4. My mother had a panic attack last night because the ham she ordered from QVC for Easter Dinner is on back order. Am I the only one who thinks that ordering a ham from QVC, as well as a ham being on back order in general, is hysterical? She didn’t find it very funny.

5. I’ve been on the border of getting sick all week. I has stomach issues on Tues and Weds and today my throat and ears hurt. I credit the prenatal vitamins with keeping me healthy. As opposed to the 2 other times, I have hardly been sick at all. It’s refreshing.

6. I found out that our hospital has remodeled all of their post-partum rooms; they are all private and they boast a home-like atmosphere. The baby gets to room in with you the whole time you are there. I’m pretty sure the nurses will still barge in on me at all hours of the night. I wouldn’t exactly call that home-like.

7. I’ve been giving more thought to my proposed early induction. I hated being induced, however, if it gives me the chance of having a smaller baby, one who does not have to go to the NICU for hypoglycemia, I think I’m going to do it. I would rather be uncomfortable and somewhat miserable instead of going through what I did with CA. That thought has terrified me since I got pregnant; I can not leave the hospital without my baby again. It’s not going to happen. So when we evaluate at 36 weeks, I will ask for a scheduled induction.

8. Speaking of this baby bean, Hub has decided he really doesn’t like the middle name we have chosen. He’ll go with it, but I’m not sure that I want to hear his incessant complaining about it. Every time he hears CA’s middle name, he makes a comment. He hates it. Whatev. We’ll see what happens.

9. I’m also prepping myself to begin dieting before I come back to work from my maternity leave. This will be hard because typically I am hungrier when I am breastfeeding than I am when I am pregnant. It’s been proven, however, that I can not start a diet at work. I need to establish the good habits prior to coming back. It’s going to be hard, but I need to do something. I can’t look like this anymore. I bought “You on a Diet” just before I got pregnant, so I’m going to study up and figure out a way to do this without depleting my milk etc. (there is a huge change that post-partum feelings will send this all down the toilet, but it’s good in theory, right????)

10. Finally, I commented somewhere the other day that CA was 26 months old. Am I on drugs? She is 2 years and 7 months old, which makes her what, 31 months old? Holy hell! She’s closer to being 3 than I realized!! I worry about her not being the baby anymore. She is SO the baby. I had similar worries for ED before she was born and it all worked out fine, but I can’t help but worry that we are forever impacting her life by making her the middle child. It’s valid; her life—all of our lives—will change forever when the bean is here. She’s just had so much time to herself as the baby of our family, where as ED had less than 2 years, and it scares me. I’m encouraged though that she has already offered to help change diapers, and rub the baby’s back, and be my helper. She’s going to be a great big sister, of that, I am sure.

There Is Nothing Holding This Post Together.....

To say that I am lazy when it comes to housework is a huge understatement. Clutter is kind of a way of life for us. I don’t see a huge point in spending 2 hours cleaning every night after work when I could be spending time with the kids. I’ve been a little more lax than I should be concerning the kitchen lately, since we are getting all new stuff, but yesterday I got some sort of bug up my ass, and decided at 8:30 that I was scrubbing the kitchen from top to bottom. It was like I went in to panic mode or something. There will be people in our house, installing cupboards and what not. They’re not going to think, “Oh, the floor is dirty because they’re getting a new one” but rather “these people are scumbags and rather than clean, they’re getting new stuff!!” So I cleaned until 11PM, and am paying for it today.

Hub noticed though and thanked me (at 2:30 am) without stating the obvious, which is, “What’s the point”. I think I need to have a serious talk with him about talking to me when he gets home though. Isn’t it bad enough that the bean keeps me up with her cervix kicking, leg cramps and heartburn all night?

Funny story---one of my reps who is pregnant called in 3 days in a row last week without giving me a reason. When she came back, she told me that she had called in because she was just so tired, and she knew I would understand. Seriously? Talk to me when you have 2 kids getting up in the middle of the night AND you’re tired from being 6-months pregnant. Ass. (I feel like I told you this story already)

Another story about a pregnant friend (and employee)……she actually had her baby today! She tried for 9 years, since her 1st was born and had been through fertility treatment and several miscarriages. Last summer she said she had enough; and if she was not pregnant by the time she turned 30, she was done. She attempted to sell all of her baby stuff at a garage sale in June, and nobody came. She found out days before her birthday in July that she was pregnant. She had tons of problems and has been out of work since November, and against all odds, this baby, who she named Faith, was born today, healthy and almost 9lbs. I am so thrilled for her and her family. Did you know that today is St. Joseph’s day? He is the patron saint of families. The whole situation, if you ask me, is remarkable.

I am 20 weeks today!! WOOT!! Half way there!!