Rambling and Rambling some more

I am having a major PMS-fueled salt crisis. I just thought you should know that. I’m back at work today after a week off, and as always, it feels like I never left. My vacation was ok. Hub and I got a lot of work done in the basement and I think I am finally ready to begin listing clothes on Ebay. Of course, getting rid of anything child related gives me the major nervous tummy. I feel like as soon as everything is gone, I will miraculously get pregnant. Time will only tell, I suppose.

In unrelated news, I took my very first “dud” pregnancy test last week. I’ve never had one completely not register. And then I didn’t have to pee anymore, so we had to wait until the next day to do it again, and holy crap what a lot of mother effing stress. The result was negative and I pretty much knew that it would be but my cycle was crazy last month, I am assuming because of the pneumonia and antibiotics and all of that crap and even though I had a (very very short and light) period, I still felt really off. And well, I did not want to go off on my weekend getaway with the Hub and drink myself in to a stupor enjoy some wine if there was any question in my mind, you know? So I tested and it was negative. And there is no baby to speak of---although I had a dream that I was pregnant with my fourth child and shopping and talking to a friend the day before my induction date. And aren’t those the weirdest dreams? Where you wake up feeling like it was so real, but you know that it wasn’t? I don’t know. I hate it when my head and my hormones fuck with me.

So anyway, Wednesday was my 28th 29th 30th 31st birthday and we didn’t really do much of anything. Hub, FIL and I went to The Olive Garden for lunch, and then we had chocolate cake after the kids had dinner. I was proclaimed “the best mom EVER” because I asked for chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. This is what you do as a mom—order the damn chocolate chocolate when you would really prefer white and buttercream. Whatever. It’s cake.

So my parents took the kids on Friday night so Hub and I could do our whole overnight thing, and it was good. We stayed here and had a fantastic dinner and overnight stay. I think that maybe I would like to die and be buried in their Jacuzzi tub. It was nice. Dinner was fantastic! And when they brought out the coffee with dessert, it came with a tray of chocolate shavings and real whipped cream, and heavy cream for stirring in to the coffee. That could have been my dessert right there, man. It was awesome.

I only realized the following evening that it was the first night I ever spent away from Liv, and I promptly burst in to tears. I know. Talk about crazy. I mean, we were home already. I’d spent the whole day with her. But for whatever reason, it hit me kind of hard.

Well I have rambled enough for one day. Plus I need to lick the salt off of the inside of this Chex Mix bag.