Irritation! Now With Pseudonyms!

• I’m irritated today, for a number of reasons. Oddly enough, the 1st is my Google Reader, which is just plain not updating. Come on GOOGLE get it together. SO……for those of you with a sitemeter, I am not stalking you, just wondering if perhaps you have graced us with a post today.
• Both kids were ridiculous before we left the house this morning. Lucy burst in to tears because Bud told her she was not having any toast. I don’t know why she gets so upset when it is clear that Bud, the 4-year-old does not make the decisions. Then Bud freaked out when I told him to knock off the crap or he was spending the evening in his bed. Thankfully they were both calmed down and perfectly chipper by the time we got to school—I guess they needed their breakfast to metabolize?
• After drop-off I went to Tim Horton’s in the mood for something different than a bagel and a black coffee. I decided on an Iced Coffee (double double) and a muffin. Seriously all three of my muffin choices were sold out. So I settled on the onion bagel with extra butter, AKA “the usual” [fun fact, hub likes to order “the usual at random restaurants where he actually doesn’t have a usual and freak out the servers….] When I got to the window, and I’ll admit I was clearly annoyed, I asked to make sure there was, in fact extra butter. Bitch rolled her eyes at me but did check on it. Of course, said bagel was nearly dry and I had to fight with my self not to turn around and drive back and throw the bagel in that chick’s face.
• I was dealing with an issue at work today that either impacted like, 20 customers or 8000 customers. I was waiting to find out the impact before communicating. I got scolded for not letting the higher-ups know about it. You know what? I DON’T CARE!
• Hub stated that I am treating Lucy like a second class citizen because I haven’t found her a new gymnastics class yet. We make every effort to get Bud to Tae Kwon Do (um, WE don’t, HE does. That is out of my jurisdiction), so why shouldn’t we do the same for her? Is one week really going to make a difference? I mean he actually said that!! In any case, I found and secured a new place today with roughly the same time for class, so those other crappy moms will probably be there. How nice for ME!!
• My parents are both working Sunday and I really wanted them to watch the kids while we go see Ave Q. Not their fault, but annoying just the same.
• Still no B-day gift for Hub. I procrastinated and was going on my lunch break tomorrow, but now my newly engaged cousin is stopping by on her lunch so……GAH!
• I could go tonight, but my other cousin is borrowing my van. I hate going out after work anyway, so I suppose it is a blessing in disguise.
• I am ready to saw my freaking leg off; my hip hurts so badly. I just want to sleep in my bed and can only get comfy on the couch. What the hell was I thinking, getting knocked up again? (the reward in the end is well worth it….the reward in the end is well worth it) I’m just so tired…….and whiny, apparently.
• At least tomorrow is Thursday and I am off on Friday and it will FINALLY be May.

The Long and Winding Post.......

I mentioned the other day that I wanted to get away from using initials for my kid’s names. I’m pretty set on calling CA “Lucy” as that is what I call her at home anyway. The Bean will be Olivia because we can’t use it but I love it. Much like choosing a boy’s name though, choosing a pseudonym for ED is excruciating! Nothing fits. He is nothing to me other than his name. I call him Handsome and Bud at home, but those don’t fit here. I should just say SCREW IT and go back to using their real names. Everyone knows them anyway. It’s just the whole searching thing. If someone searched all 3 kid’s names, surely they would find this Blog, correct? This is stupid. And hard.

I’m ready to stop working now. Really really ready. The official countdown is 99 days! DOUBLE DIGITS!! But I anticipate giving birth between 7/21 and 7/28 which puts us at about 11-12 weeks to go. (Watch me go like 10 days overdue or some crap) Seriously though, with how low she is, my back is killing me consistently, I have my usual pregnancy related hip pain, and now I have this hernia to contend with, which is actually pretty sore. Work is also ridiculously busy and stressful on top of it, so it seems like a good idea to be done sooner than later. I’m at the point where I would be paid for any time off as long as it was medically necessary and documented (2 weeks per year of service times 8 years=16 weeks of paid time off prior to Maternity Leave) I planned on working at least through 7/15 and friends, I don’t think it’s going to happen. My issue is with my monthly bonus—I have to work at least one day in the month to qualify for it. So….June 1st? July 1st? I have 9 vacation days plus Memorial Day off in May so I think I can get through it.

I also have until tomorrow to decide the kid’s summer daycare schedule. When I had CA, ED was still at the old center and they were very flexible. I dropped him down to 2 days a week to get him out of the house as well as to give me alone time with CA. The new center, not so flexible. They can go MWF or T/THU. I think that for consistency, the MWF is the best, and I do receive my full pay while I am out, so no big deal. I just wish we could go Tues/Weds/Thurs instead and then have them home Friday through Monday. 3 days on, 4 days off, you know? Maybe if I sat down and talked with the director……but I really don’t want to.

Hub’s birthday is Friday; he will be 32. I still have not got him a gift. I still don’t know what to get him. I actually know what I want to get him, but I think he will be upset with the cost. I don’t know. I have the day off and we are planning on doing lunch at the Casino where they have a huge buffet. We go there exclusively to eat, we almost never gamble. Then we’ll have cake at home after we pick up the kids. Is it wrong that I’m stressing out about not being near the computer all day for Swistle’s Big Reveal? Thankfully, I can check email and read Blogs through the internet browser on my phone. I just can’t comment.

My mother really irritated me on Sunday which I neglected to mention yesterday. ED was being a real pisser at dinner, pouting and just being nasty overall. After Hub said something he didn’t like he said “Well FINE THEN!” I’m, not eating!!” Hun took his drink away, stating the obvious—he wasn’t drinking pop if he wasn’t eating dinner. ED broke down in hysterics so Hub took him out of the restaurant. My mother was appalled “all of that for a little bit of acting out?” I told her it is the only way to deal with him; the only thing that works. “I think it’s too much and it really bothers me.” Again, you do not deal with this kid on a daily basis. When he gets in this sort of mood you have to physically remove him from the situation in order to break it. “So what, now they’re not going to eat dinner??” They will be back in a few minutes; ED just needs time to relax. “Well, it really bothers me.” I wanted to say really hurtful things, relating to the way my youngest brother acts and behaves—that maybe if she had used some different tactics he wouldn’t be the way he is. But I bit my tongue. She feels bad enough about my brother as it is. And sure enough, Hub and ED returned less than 5 minutes later, with ED happy as a clam. I don’t appreciate my parenting being criticized. Here’s the thing—we will put up with silliness, and we can tolerate moods/acting out to an extent—it is typical preschool/toddler behavior. But when it turns in to total bullshit, it is plain not allowed. We have happy, well adjusted, and for the most part, very well behaved children. I felt like she was implying we were beating them or something……we don’t even spank them. I feel better getting that out---much better.

I am treating myself to Burger King for lunch today. Hub picked up food for himself and the kids yesterday but nothing for me because 1. I haven’t been eating much for dinner and 2. He didn’t know what I would want. Of course, this put me on the warpath……but I can recover by getting my own Whopper today. I’m excited, which in a word, is sad.

Finally, out of the mouth of my baby, I offer you three recent revelations. The first, after hearing someone on TV mention their boyfriend: “I have two boyfriends, Merrick and Davin……” At dinner on Friday she stood up, pointed to Hub and said “what the hell is the matter with you!!” (That one is all me…) And on the way home the other day “Mommy, we don’t say sum of the bitch, we say sum of the gun, right?” (I take no credit for that one though…she heard it from my dad on Easter…one time…and has been obsessed ever since.)

I had some awesome eggplant parmesan yesterday; we were out to dinner with my parents. Sadly, it wasn’t just for fun, but because I was accompanying them to a wake for a family friend who passed away on Friday. W was our neighbor for about 3 years; he and his wife and kids lived next door to us when we lived in the city and our families were truly the best of friends. There wasn’t a day that went by that we were not together, my mom and his wife, L being especially close. We both moved to the suburbs in the late eighties and while we were in touch for quite some time, gradually grew apart. Short of Christmas cards, we didn’t hear from each other too much—the last time I saw any of them was at my wedding in 2002—but that didn’t make them less important in my life. W was 55 and had an aneurism and the stress on his body caused a massive heart attack, according to the limited details we got. He left behind his wife and 4 children.

I thought about not going to the wake; with the frequency of our visits, I could probably live my life blissfully unaware that he was gone—it wouldn’t affect me. I decided to go though, along with my parents and middle brother and I am glad that I did. If I were in that situation, I would hope that they would be there to support me.

I find it amazing how differently people deal with death. His wife was back and forth between 2 extremes; first saying in her thick Italian accent “you take it with a grain of salt and move on; what else can you do?” and then sobbing hysterically. The oldest daughter, my childhood playmate, was bubbly, greeting everyone with kisses and smiles, really holding it together. You could almost call her exuberant. The second oldest was more subdued, but acted much the same as her sister. The youngest two did not socialize, but stayed with their group of friends. My mother has a thing about touching the corpse. I have never been to a wake where she hasn’t touched the dead. It’s weird, right? Me, I always behave the same—stare off in to space and try not to think about it. Try not to think about having to bury my own father some day. Engage with the family and offer them my support. The get the hell out of there.

Hub has told me on several occasions not to make a big deal when he dies. He doesn’t see the point in dragging anything out; just get it over with. Most importantly, he wants me to move on with my life. He is adamant about it. Obviously, I don’t want to think about that stuff, but I wonder if I could respect his wishes? To be strong and not grieve?

Seriously, I don’t even want to know.

Friday Free For All

• This is actually my 100th entry here, however I have 143 entries over here, so I’m not celebrating. If you want to know 100 things about me, you can read them here.
• I am getting bored of using abbreviations for the kid’s names on here. It’s tiring. I don’t want to use their real names because I don’t want my immediate family to find me, however typing ED and CA is annoying me. Would it be too confusing if I changed their names to pseudonyms?
• I think that the parents at daycare think I am a bad mom. They must. They all dress their kids in long sleeves and pants. It is in the 50’s in the morning……but it will be 80 degrees this afternoon, so I dress my kids in shorts and t-shirts with a jacket for the morning.
• I’ve never been big on the whole bundling the kids or even a newborn phenomenon anyway. I dress them the way that I would dress myself. This drives my mother INSANE. I still remember her covering ED with tons of blankets after he was born, when he was already in a blanket sleeper. Irritating! He was warm enough. Both of my kids, like Hub are warm all the time anyway.
• Did I ever mention that I did, in fact, have strep throat this week? (for some reason I just wrote french toast instead of strep throat—weird) What a miserable freaking experience.
• I decided last night, that since I hadn’t slept in my own bed all week due to acid reflux, that I was not eating any dinner. It worked; I slept in bed without coughing up food in the middle of the night. I did wake up starving on several occasions though. Not sure which was worse?
• We have decided not to travel to Atlanta next month. There is no way I am sitting in a car for 13 hours. We will take a shorter, and closer (read cheaper) trip instead. Regardless of what we do I am off for a week and a half—YIPPEE!
• It smells like pizza and wings in here and it is making me nauseous. Tonight is pizza night at home. BOO!
• Oh! I updated my links for who I’m reading. Check out the newbies!
• ED’s injury is completely healed. He is no worse for the wear. YAY.

The windows are open and a warm breeze circulates through the house. Wind chimes clang in the breeze and a neighbor's lilac bush is blooming. The smell of charcoal barbeques floats through the warm air and children laughing and screaming can be heard throughout the neighborhood. My children come to me for hugs with warm and rosy cheeks. Their heads smell sweet; full of sunshine and sunscreen. I drink it in as the sun kisses my face and brings out my freckles.

It is 87 degrees, yet it is only April.

We are expecting snow next week.

Random Crap and a (somewhat) Rhetorical Question

I promised ED I would take him to buy flip flops tonight. Do you think he’ll forget? Since we started in the kitchen, he’s been wearing mine……apparently, he hates his slippers now and he NEEDS flip flops. From “Oh Maybe’s” [Old Navy] Ok then Mr. Opinion. CA, I’m sure, will insist that she needs some as well, even though I just ordered her some from TCP……they just haven’t arrived (or even shipped for that matter and it has been 10 days) yet. I hear that Payless is doing BOGO right now though, so maybe I can score some new (ahem--slightly larger) summer shoes while we are out.

I had my glucose tolerance test this morning and it was horrific. My old doctor had this backwoods formula that involved drinking a can of orange crush ½ hour before your appointment and then she drew your blood when you came in. The new doctor…not so much. That bottle of orange melted freezy pop with extra sugar was enough to take me over the edge. Vomit city. I thought it was maybe like a shot of something, a sip or two-but a WHOLE BOTTLE?? Yuck. About 20 minutes after I drank it, I started feeling shaky, dizzy and nauseous which does nothing but leave me to wonder “is my body processing this correctly or incorrectly??” I don’t even know what I’ll do if I have to go back for the second test. I was nauseous until a few hours ago.

Have any of you given any thought to the kind of parent you will be when your kids are grown? I imagine myself having weekly family dinners, with a house full of grand kids, and daily phone calls. I can’t imagine not touching a piece of their life on a daily basis. These may be high hopes on my part, but do you get what I’m saying? If one of my kids had the evening off, and her husband was working, and my only plan was to go up to the casino—I would jump at the chance to meet up with her and her kids for dinner--ESPECIALLY after I just got back from a week in another country—I can go to the casino anytime, right? But apparently, this isn’t how all parents operate. Some value their own time. I’m just sayin’. (Jaded much, Sara? Bitter much?) Maybe I’ll feel different when I’m in my 50’s and my kids have lives of their own. But I can’t imagine that I will.

The work day has gone fast and soon I’ll be leaving to get the kiddos—apparently we will be dining on our own. Wish me luck in navigating the store with them!

P.S. thank you all for your comments on yesterday's post. You all are the bomb digity!!

Not The Cool Mom

CA’s gymnastics school is closing; Saturday is her last day. I’m torn in my feelings about it because she really enjoys it, and is really good at it (for an almost 3-year-old) but the mom’s were just really hard for me to deal with. So on one had its “poor CA!!!” and on the other it’s “Phew, I never have to see those women again!”

Out of the group, there are maybe two down-to-earth mothers. The majority of them are SAHM’s, but not the cool kind like you all out there; the kind that think working mothers are doing the world a disservice; that daycare is bad etc. I understood them not talking to me at first; I can seem standoffish to those who don’t know me. I am quiet in unfamiliar situations. Even in my adult life, it is hard for me to make friends. I get that. Not to mention that I refuse to get myself all made up on a Saturday morning to take my kid to gymnastics. It’s not a big deal. But at some point, I started feeling comfortable and when one of the instructors began speaking of her sister, who had delivered a “HUGE” 8-lb baby, I inserted that CA herself weighed 9”5 and that ED was 10”2. I then joked that the Bean probably already weighed 8lbs. I wasn’t met with the chorus of “Wow, that’s amazing!!” that I normally get, but rather mutterings of “all of my kids weighed about 5lbs” and “what did you have gestational diabetes or something??”. I felt like they may as well have said “shut up! You don’t belong here!!”

A few weeks later, a new mom joined and commented that her son didn’t want to leave; and he was the same at daycare. I talked a bit with New Mom, CA is the same way and blah blah blah, and a few minutes later was approached by “the ringleader mom.”

“So CA goes to daycare?”

“Yes, she and her brother both……”

“Hmmm, I just registered J for (prestigious) Montessori School for pre-k next year. We’re on the waiting list, but I won’t mind if she’s home with me another year. Where do you work?”

I tell her.

She looks at me like I told her I work at Pizza Hut or something. “And what do you do there??”

“I’m the Assistant Vice President in charge of …”

“Oh, how nice for you.”

For some reason I justify it by saying that Hub is self employed and is home with them 2 days a week.

“Oh, that’s nice for him……”

Indeed.

I’m not sure why I allow myself to be made to feel bad by these women. I am happy with our work/daycare/life balance. My kids are happy and well adjusted. I enjoy working and providing for them. I shook off her comments I returned to class the following week with a smile determined to ignore any comments that came my way. Thankfully none did, but I have to admit that when I heard The Ringleader telling New Mom that the parents usually go out for coffee and donuts after class, that it stung a little bit.

Not all of the parents go---some were never even invited.

Jackassery

Well for starters, ED is fine. Bruised and still a bit swollen, but fine. We took him to the toy store after the urologist for being so brave, and as he put his selected toy on the counter her told the clerk “this is for my wee-nah.” Oy.

I actually left work early on Wednesday due to my cold and called in on Thursday as well. ED’s issue on Friday gave me another day off. Late Saturday night, my throat started to hurt and by yesterday it was excruciating. I hardly slept last night from the pain but dragged myself in today to catch up. My tonsils are huge; like golf balls, and red and bumpy. Yippee. Hub commented though that this is the longest I’ve gone in a pregnancy without antibiotics. He’s right—with 6 UTI’s during my pregnancy with ED and strep throat 5 times with CA, this is pretty good. She’s finding other ways to kick my ass though without being sick.

Did I mention that it was 87 degrees here on Saturday? Yes, in Buffalo. Fun times in which Hub did not put the air conditioner in. Also a really great time to discover that NONE of my summer maternity wear fits me. I don’t understand because it is the exact same size AND from the same store as the rest of my stuff. 6 pair of capris and 2 pair of shorts. Do not fit. WTF. I spent the weekend in an old pair of Hub’s sweat shorts. And when I went to him, for comfort, I heard “it really is your own fault; did you think you hadn’t gained any weight in the 3 years since CA was born? It would be like me complaining that my t-shirts from last year don’t fit.” I told him how they were the same size and that it makes no sense…and also that I wasn’t planning on spending any money on summer clothes. His response “you have your $200 from Christmas.” Indeed I do, but I was saving it for back to work clothes in the fall. He gave in later and told me I don’t have to spend my money……but GAH!

What else? As I mentioned baby clothes and gear to Hub yesterday for probably the 657th time he said “are you freaking out? Even just a little bit? Are you freaking out??” YES I’M FREAKING OUT!! We are having another baby in like, 12 weeks!!!! Oy.

Finally, Hub and ED started demolishing the kitchen yesterday, and I spent Friday and Saturday moving everything out, essentials in to the living room, non-essentials in to the basement. Guess when the cabinet install is scheduled for?? 5/16. Like, a month away. I can’t live out of my living room for a month. We’re moving a few things back in to the kitchen for the time being. It just seems like such a long process. By the time it is over, I’ll be ready to give birth. O M G.

I am off to the doctor. Hopefully for some good drugs.

Oh the H O R R O R

I struggle with how to even write this. First of all there is the sheer horror of the situation, and then there is the fact that I'd like to avoid weird googlers. I guess I'm still in shock.

So anyway, here goes.

We had dinner at Hub's grandmothers, who lives in senior housing where many of her things are hospital grade, last night. I had CA in the bathroom, washing her up from dinner, and ED came in to pee. It took all of a second, CA and I were laughing at the sink, and suddenly, ED was screaming; shrieking even, and was holding his, um, stuff.

I remembered hearing the toilet seat slam a second before....I asked him to move is hands in all of his hysteria, and there was blood....not a ton, but enough.

He had got it stuck.

I called Hub in to look just as it started forming a huge blood blister. His mother, a nurse, took look as well. It wasn't good. He couldn't pee. We weren't sure if it was because he was scared, or if the hole had swollen shut, or if something even worse was going on inside of there.

ED's biggest concern---not getting his underwear dirty. He insisted on wearing a washcloth on the inside.

FIL met us at the ER to take CA home and we spent the better part of the evening at the hospital. ED was actually in pretty good spirits as he had calmed down, and spoke with the doctors and nurses candidly. All of the doctors were in to see him, to the point that when the girl who was just taking some info from us did not ask to see the boo boo, ED questioned why.

I'm proud of him for doing so well. The doctors measured the cut that runs right across the tip...just over a centimeter; I think to decide whether or not he needed a stitch or two. I think Hub was ready to throw up just thinking about it. After about an hour, having taken Tylenol with codeine as well as having a numbing agent placed on the area, ED peed and we were cleared to go home.

We have an appointment with a pediatric urologist in few hours to determine if there actually is any damage or if it is just bruised and cut. ED is telling everyone that we are going to the we.in.er doctor.

He is gun-shy about peeing, having only gone once since we got home from the hospital over 12 hours ago. He is very sore, obviously, and needs help getting on the couch and laying down. He doesn't have much of an appetite, with the exception of eating M&M's. But overall, I'd say he is doing well.

I'm nervous about the urology appointment. We've seen one once before, as ED's circ was a bit botched at birth. His bedside manner---not great. This is a different doctor, but in the same practice. We'll see how it goes.

I'm trying to think of the upside....yesterday was the first night ever he stayed dry all night. Maybe this will help him learn to hold it. And also, if he does need surgery, we can have his circ fixed and get it taken care of all at once.

Most of all though, I am hurting for my baby. He is brave though. On the way to the hospital (or hostable as he says) last night I said o him "I'm so sorry this happened, buddy." And do you know what my big boy said? "You didn't do it Mommy. I did."

Prayers and happy thoughts are appreciated. I will update soon.

24-Week Photo

And Kid Pic for Fodder....


Let's say I look like crap solely because I am sick....



This was Maple Weekend a few weeks ago....just before CA fell face first in to a mud puddle

Ho Hum de Dum

I have a cold and it is making me miserable. It’s not the kind where my nose is completely blocked, but rather the obnoxious kind that drip drip drips down the back of my throat, causing it to sting. I thought about staying home today, but really why bother. I may as well be miserable at work and accomplish something instead of sitting at home with a blanket and the TV……HEY what the heck was I thinking???

My job announced a new benefit plan for 2009 which is, in a word, amazing. 12 weeks of paid maternity leave. I asked The Bean if she’d like to stay in for another 4 months and she told me no way……so I’ll take my 8 weeks. (maybe longer if I have to get this hernia repaired) They are switching to one national health plan which should lower costs, and they are giving each associate a prepaid flex spending account for co pays and prescriptions which increases by how many dependents you cover. I will receive the max, which is $1200 and if I don’t spend it, it rolls over, right up until I retire. The greatest thing though, is childcare assistance. Right now, they offer $175/month/child but only if you make a certain amount of $$ or less. I haven’t qualified since my promotion in 2005. They are raising the income threshold by over $20k AND they are increasing it to $225/month/child. Which with what I pay for part time daycare is like getting one child per month for free. Which means we can afford to send The Bean and not worry about carting her to my parents etc. until ED goes to kindergarten. To say that I am thrilled is an understatement.

I told Hub that the 12 weeks of maternity pay is a sign that we should have a 4th. He laughed and just told me to get through this one first.

I am officially 24-weeks along today, by the way. I feel like I should post a new photo, but I also feel WAY too fat for all of that. I didn’t tell you that I gained 6lbs last month. Ooops.

Honey Crullers be damned!

The Beast Within

In the back of my mind I have a vague recollection of ED turning in to a hell-child just before he turned three. Only bits and pieces stand out. I’m starting to wonder, if like the pain of childbirth, we forget our children being pains in the ass in order to further the human race.

That all being said, CA has been a real pisser lately. The attitude is unreal; as if she is a teenager! When I remind her of her manners I hear “I SAID GET ME JUICE!!!!” and she is throwing herself on the floor in these horrific fits when she doesn’t get her way. Yesterday she was nasty all night, having been placed in time out twice for hitting and pinching me as well as severely antagonizing her brother. She was out at one point, demanding her juice, when the cat wretched up all of his food on to one of my kitchen mats (centimeters from the actual floor where I could have just wiped it up……). I asked her to go and get me a few wipes from the bathroom while I poured her juice, and she readily obliged. I heard the toilet flush twice while she was away, but no bells went off for me, and I went about my business. It was only a short time later, when I needed to use the bathroom that I realized what she had been up to. The toilet was filled to the very top of the seat, and sticking out of the drain, was the entire container of wipes. I left the bathroom to ask her what she had done and was told “I just flushed some toilet paper!” I probed her again……”Just toilet paper???” “Yes Mama, and one wipe.” Sigh. “Just one wipe, CA???” “Well, one REALLY big one.”

This girl is going to be the death of me, I thought as I dunked my hand in to the bowl to fish out the clumps of wipes. At least they were still all folded together and we didn’t need to call a plumber.

Over the weekend, as she played with her brother and 2 boy cousins Hub commented that in his family, they always picked on his cousin R, the only girl, and that he was surprised how well the boys took to her. It was clear though that she was the alpha in that group—I turned to Hub and said “they wouldn’t dare to pick on her; she’d kick all of their asses.”

Indeed she would, this difficult yet extremely lovable child.

When she woke up this morning, and snuggled on my lap for a bit, she told me “bad CA stayed in bed; good CA is awake.”

I guess we’ll see what today will bring.

A Ramblin' and A Ravin'

First, please go and congratulate one of my favorite bloggers, Bananafana who had her baby on Saturday!!!! Hooray!!

I feel compelled to tell you that I spent $152 at JCP on Saturday. I went in for a gift for my cousin, and came out overly excited about their kid’s sale. We drove home and I put the kids in for a nap, and promptly returned to the mall to make my haul. I ended up with 7 outfits and 2 pair of shoes for CA, 3 outfits and several shirts for ED and 2 outfits for The Bean. I also picked up 2 outfits for my niece. The only disappointment was the poor show of shorts in ED’s size. Darn him for not fitting in to the toddler sizes any longer. Basically though, the sale was as long as you bought at least 3 items, everything was 50% off. THEN I had a coupon for $20 off $100 and $15 off $75 and they let me use both. I saved over $200---not that JCP ever has their stuff not on sale……but I still feel accomplished. Anyhoo, aside from shorts for ED I am pretty well set for them for this summer.

The mall happened to be swarmed with Canadians picking up some great deals with their great $$ and the parking was ridiculous, so I parked in a secret place I have, and walked over to JCP. I neglected to think it through though, since I had to lug all of the clothes all the way back to my great spot. I’m still sore. Can I just mention though, to the folks casually meandering through the mall……KNOCK IT OFF!!! WALK WITH A PURPOSE!! IF I CAN WADDLE FASTER THAN YOU, YOU ARE GOING TOO SLOW!!!! Ok, I feel better.


Yesterday I started pulling out and organizing summer clothes from the basement to add to what I bought and see if we needed anything else, along with putting away clothes that no longer fit the kiddos. I put all of the boxes of ED’s clothes in the back corner and moved all of CA’s clothes to the front, as we will be using them again. I pulled out the boxed of blankets, bibs and burp cloths and other misc baby stuff for hub to bring upstairs. He asked me if I thought it was a bit soon, to which I replied “I AM SIX MONTHS PREGNANT!!!” I mean, seriously. It’s time to get organized here. I’m not going to be in the position of not even having the car seat and bassinette ready like we were when CA showed up 2-weeks early. Let’s just get it the hell done already.

6-months along and everything led me to my doctor’s appointment this morning. Everything looks good, though it seems I’ve developed an umbilical hernia. Gross. I mentioned it because it is starting to hurt, but apparently, especially after multiple pregnancies, it’s pretty normal and should go away after I deliver. In any case, it is a severely disgusting bulge. Can you believe that after my next appointment I am up to every 2 weeks? Holy hell!! It really is moving fast!

Friday Fun with a Twist!!

Mommy Brain tagged me like 2 weeks ago for the 7 facts MEME which I have already done here, so I thought that I would give it a little twist. Here are 7 fun facts about each of my family members.

Hub

1. He has been in business for himself as a carpet cleaner for the last 7 years. As a previous “corporate whore” he says there is no way he could ever work for “the man” again.
2. He loves to cook and is really very good at it. His favorite thing to make me is broiled fish, which I love. But he ALWAYS forgets to buy a lemon.
3. He aspires to be handy around the house. His problem---he has no patience. He is getting better though.
4. He was a Theatre Major in college and acted in several productions.
5. He was also the stage manager for the college dance troupe.
6. He always read the paper while we are watching TV and I never tell him that it drives me crazy.
7. He is more family oriented than I ever thought he would be. He’s always the one to suggest fun family activities.

ED
1. He weighed 10lbs 2 oz at birth; his cheeks were so fat they looked like they would fall right off of his face.
2. His favorite way to comfort himself is to twirl my hair around his fingers; he is a mama’s boy through and through
3. Like me, he is extremely over-sensitive and has a tendency to be shy until he knows people---then he will talk your ear off. It is very hard for him to be in awkward situations.
4. He and Hub’s dad are like kindred spirits or something. They are the best of friends. (It’s cute, but also annoying)
5. His first sentence, at 11 months old was “More corn please.”
6. Corn is one of the only veggies I can still get him to eat. He used to eat EVERYTHING. He is finally getting better though, especially if I let him help me cook.
7. He refuses to answer to his full first name (E.dmu.nd) or to write it out when his teacher tells him to at school. He’ll say, “No, there’s another D and an I and an E.”

CA

1. She was covered in hair from head to toe at birth. I felt funny putting her in sundresses because of her hairy shoulders.
2. She is the best eating 2-year-old I know, asking for things like salad and fruit. When we go to a restaurant, she orders broccoli. The one thing she hates: tomatoes.
3. On her first birthday, she only had 2 teeth. She popped the rest of them last summer just before she turned two. I could tell when she was getting molars because she would run a high fever and throw up every time.
4. Like her father, she is very outgoing and talkative. For a two-year-old she has an amazing vocabulary. She really talks constantly.
5. Still like her father, (and not at all like me) she is a determined go-getter. She potty-trained herself in one day just after she turned 2, both day and night time. It was her decision, not ours. She has always been that way, doing what she wants when she wants to and doing whatever she can to get her own way.
6. When she is not talking, she is singing. She especially loves to sing in the car and will serenade us for hours on end. She totally gets this from me.
7. She also loves dancing and gymnastics. Her favorite dance: The chicken dance. Her favorite part of gymnastics: jumping on the trampoline and somersaults down the ramp.

Simple Things

• Sometimes the best part of my day is coming home and taking off my bra.
• I love knowing that if I forget to put on deodorant (it happens more often than you think)my friend Bev keeps an industrial sized spray can in her filing cabinet
• Oooey Goooey brownies purchased by my husband waiting at home for me
• I got a google hit yesterday for “Sexless Marriage” AWESOME
• Reading blogs and comments and so often thinking “ME TOO!!!”
• Looking forward to a steak and onion sub for lunch
• My kitchen is being gutted today, which in itself sucks, but means we are really doing this!!

More Random Crap

CA has green goop leaking from her nose and right eye. It is not at all charming. She was up several times during the night and ended up in our bed after Hub left for work at 5AM. I’m waiting for a “post-naptime come and get your sick child what were you thinking sending her today” type of call from daycare.

ED will tell anyone of his love of “brown” and “pink” pop tarts. Sadly, Hub bought the wrong pink ones, strawberry instead of cherry. The frosting on the strawberry is white, making them “not pink”. I argued with ED about it being the same thing, and my last words before getting in the shower this morning were “It better be gone when I get out.” It was, and I asked him about it. Was it good, etc. I noticed there was no pop-tart mess on his face and questioned him further. He insisted it was “all gone”. I asked him to why there were no pop tarts in his teeth and was told “Because it’s all gone in the garbage can, not in my belly.” What kind of 4-year-old can play the semantics game? Mine can!!

We are grilling tonight, and I am excited. The weather has been great the last few days, and though it is dreary today, it is still warm. I’m going to be bitter when it sleets and rains this weekend.

Backtracking a bit, Hub took the kids to the children’s museum yesterday and spent a good 5 hours there. He called me several times with updates. My favorite one “This place is a haven for SAHM’s! I wonder if I could join the Mommy club!”

We’ve been having quite a bit of dialogue about what to do with the kids while I am on Maternity Leave. I think it’s important for them to continue with daycare---it won’t be any fun being cooped up in the house with baby and me all summer. When pre-school changes to summer camp in late June, we have the opportunity to modify their schedule until September without losing their MWF slot for the fall. The problem is that they would change over to 2 days per week BEFORE my leave (I plan on working thru 7/15) and they would change back to 3 days per week probably a full month before I am back at work. This whole business of not being able to hold our slots for us is a bit ridiculous. I get that they are in the business of making money, but seriously, come on.

We haven’t told them yet that we don’t plan on enrolling The Bean until she is a year old; when ED is safely in kindergarten. They are starting to look at me funny as I waddle through the halls with no mention of my pregnancy. Whatev.

Have I mentioned that we are considering traveling to Atlanta at the end of May? When I will be starting my 8th month of pregnancy? Oh yeah!! I wonder if it will be worse than VA was in June when I was pregnant with CA.

And finally, I found out late last night that the gutting of my kitchen is happening tomorrow. I am not at all prepared. Nothing like a little bit of notice!!

Oh, and a last minute FINALLY!! Hub just brought a Ford Edge by to see if we really could fit all 3 car seats in the back. WE CAN!!! It’s an 07 so I think we can get a pretty good deal. YAY! YAY! YAY! Next to the El Camino this is my dream car!!

In Dreams

My dreams have been dark lately.

I should preface this by saying that about a month ago our 2 snails, the ones who were screwing all the time, died. They left their baby behind and we bought a new snail to keep him company since ED cried that the baby didn’t have any parents anymore!! Hub cleaned our tank over the weekend, and tragically, the baby snail died a few days later. He is lying crumpled and soft at the bottom of our fish tank.

This, while I was unaware, is apparently weighing heavily on me.

I dreamed of the baby last night, floating around in my womb, and then suddenly, I was looking at her from the outside of my belly, as if it were made of clear glass. And out of nowhere, she was curled in to a ball, and laying at the bottom of my belly. Lifeless.

I woke at 4AM in a panic. I could not remember waking and feeling her move during the night as I do on most other nights. She was not moving then either. I got up and went to the bathroom. Sat on the couch for a few minutes. Still, nothing. I contemplated eating or drinking some juice to make her move, but thought better of it since I’d have to reschedule my Synthroid for the day.

I told myself she was fine. It was just a dream. But I couldn’t shake the dread.

Finally, she wiggled a bit; I’m sure she was sleeping. I slept fitfully for another hour or so before getting up for work.

She has been kicking me hard today, right in the ribs. And I don’t think I have ever felt more relieved or gladder to be uncomfortable and mildly miserable.

Be safe Baby. Be healthy and strong.

Sweet Dreams.

Sarcasm and Self Pity Must Make for a Good Post

I’m tired and crabby. I even went for a walk on my lunch break ( I KNOW, RIGHT???) to alleviate the crabby, and it did not help. I did feel great while I was doing it though; I’m just right back where I started from.

I think there is a honeymoon phase in pregnancy—you are done being sick and you feel pretty good. I am so done with that phase, if it ever existed. I’m sore, and hot and moderately miserable thanks to the 24-hour heartburn that seems to exist even with the 2 pepcid I take per day. I asked Hub to turn on the AC around 3AM, and he very politely suggested that I crack a window. It was 40 degrees outside. I was roasting though—I sure can’t wait for the summer!! What’s really great is the way my hips give out at odd intervals. This has happened during both of my previous pregnancies as well. Why don’t I think of these things before I go and get knocked up.

Someone just told me not to have a fourth baby. Why? Because her sister had a 4th and has regretted it every day since. Nice. Thank you so much for sharing; I do appreciate your opinion.

And please stop telling me “Oh, there will be more kids than adults! HA HA HA!” Fools. We have a 3rd adult in our house for one thing (well. I guess I’d count FIL as .5 adult---but whatev), and for another, just STFU. Seriously.

And can you believe my eye doctor wants to reschedule since I’m pregnant. My eyes are SCREWY right now. But apparently, it could be pregnancy related.

Speaking of pregnancy related, I think I have carpal tunnel. I think that is what caused my wrist to give out and dump a whole pot of boiling water on my other hand. Yet I type away.

And also--I wnet through all of our baby clothes this weekend. Up until then it completely escaped me that I gave all of our newborn baby girl clothes away. PHRICK!

And finally, it seems I am hit in the face with all of the things can go wrong in pregnancy on a daily basis, via the internet. I happened to google the name we are considering, 1st and middle, and the very first thing that came up was a baby who was stillborn, and her entire story, complete with photos of her posed with family members. It was so incredibly tragic and I cried for this poor family, but it also creeped me the hell out. I totally respect the family’s right, and they did what they needed to do to get through it, but I wish I never saw it.

And since we’re jumping around here in a ridiculous fashion, do you know how much it’s going to cost us to do our upstairs? Do you also know how hard it will be for us to get a loan, since for construction people only want to lend you a portion of what they think your property will be worth after it’s complete? It’s starting to look like we’ll be hiring someone to do the framing, and will probably do the rest ourselves. How fun does that sound?? With preschoolers and a newborn! I can’t wait!!

And finally, Hub’s trip to California in the fall has been extended to be about 5 days long. The bride wants him out there by the Thursday before the wedding. The wedding is on Sunday people. We are talking 5 days of me home alone with 3 kids. My mother has offered to come and help me. I’m not sure which prospect is worse?

I need some ice cream.

Friday Confessional

Ok, I’ll admit it—I am not a perfect mother. You’re shocked, right? Truthfully, nobody is perfect but I do pride myself on being pretty darn patient with my kids. And trust me, when my 4-year-old has made 100 inane statements in a row, ending each one with “Riiiiight???” and expects a response each time, it gets tough to be patient. It is tougher still, when my 2.5 year old acts as if she can not go on another minute without her blankie—which she normally carries around and sucks on and integrates in to all of her play but that we have recently tried retiring to the bedroom during non-sleeping hours, and throws herself on the floor, weeping and carrying on like we killed her puppy. Still, I maintain.

I feel like I can handle most anything that comes up during the day. As evening falls though, it becomes harder and harder. My breaking point is always bedtime. I have no patience at all for the bedtime routine. I often find myself half-wishing that they’ll forget that they need to pee and brush their teeth, because I just don’t think that I can handle going through it for one more night. Invariably we do it though, and I stand in the bathroom with a forced smile on my face, willing myself to just.deal.with.it.already.

ED: I want the Spiderman Toothpaste
CA:I want ED’s toothpaste! NO, I want yours!! Wait I want MINES!
ED: (after 10 seconds of brushing) DONE! Didn’t I do a great job??
CA: (after 3 seconds of brushing) DONE!! DONE!! DONE!!

I bark at them “Nobody is done!! Brush your teeth the right way!!!”

They are finally finished and are now fighting over the cup of water.

“ED give the cup to your sister and go give kisses to Daddy and Grandpa. DO NOT DUMP THE WATER!! DO NOT DUMP THE WATER!! ED!! (dumps the water) GO GIVE KISSES!!!!!”

Ca insists on rubbing her toothbrush on the underside of the faucet as she is rinsing it off.

“Could you not do that???”

She sucks the water, and anything that was lingering on the faucet, out of the brush. She hands it to me and fills the water cup herself. I’m starting to feel like this was planned all along. Of course, she makes a mess all over the sink.

“JUST GO TELL DADDY AND GRANDPA GOODNIGHT!!”

We are finally in their room, and they are playing musical beds.

“Everyone in the right bed, right now. RIGHT NOW!!”

They scramble and kiss me good night. Choruses of “I neeeeed to be covered” are heard for the next 5 minutes.

I give in and cover them.

It happens again.

I cover them again and say “The next time I hear a sound, I am shutting this door and taking the light! I MEAN IT!!”

This usually works; the prospect of a dark room and a closed door (I mean, how horrible is that??)—ED may wander out to ask me a question after CA is asleep, but usually, it does work.

I don’t know why I get like this. Maybe it’s because I’ve had a long day and time for myself is…right…there---I can see it, I can taste it, but I just can’t get there. Or maybe it’s all the stress of the day building up in to these last few minutes that I have with the kids. Like the balance of the universe rests on them being asleep on time.

It doesn’t.

I always make sure the last thing I say to them is “I love you”.

But I sure do hate it that the end of our time together every night, is marred by my harshness---I mean, God, they’re just being kids. Still, I behave like a lunatic.

This my friends, is my confession. I am not perfect. But I can keep trying.

Thursday Three

1.

Hell Yes. I would forgo my previously required 30th birthday bash in favor of front row tickets to their reunion tour. And might I say Donnie, you have NEVER looked better. Tivo is set for The Today Show tomorrow morning. And if my BFF wasn’t 8 months preggo, we would be on our way to NYC right now.
2. I scalded my hand this morning making tea for Hub. I actually cried; it hurt so badly. I have iced it all day and it still kills and is very swollen. Any suggestions on pregnancy ok pain relief? I’m typing this with one hand which is so not cool.
3. Um, Oreo Shakes from BK? YUMMY!

Coping Mechanisms

Some of you commented after my L OV E post that I seemed to be in a really good place, especially considering that I am nearing the 6-month mark. That was more of a diversion tactic, because seriously, folks, I am miserable. I have never had such horrific back and hip pain, my wrists are killing me, the prescription on my glasses is just off enough to be bothersome, and I can’t sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. We ran in to 3 children with the name of our choice at various activities over the weekend. Seriously, my friends, miserable.

Work is stupid too. Everyone here behaves like a child. It amazes me that while at work; people put their personal agenda ahead of that of the business. What the hell are we paying these people for?

Here is what is helping me cope:

• White toast with butter and honey in mass quantities.
• Decaf Honey Lattes from Starbucks
• Lunchtime “browsing” trips to Target
• Honey Crullers from Tim Horton’s
• Jon and Kate Plus 8
• Taking CA to gymnastics (gymnasKICKS! As she calls it) and watching her do the entire class
• Apple Pie A la Coldstone (this was a one time thing, but sooooo delicious)

My coping tactics are probably leading me to gestational diabetes.

The installers are giving us a hard time, as in not calling us back, about the kitchen. Hub needs to do his schedule. I need to schedule a few days off to help with clearing the kitchen out, and they won’t give us an install date. Hub cursed {insert home improvement chain here} out for about 30 minutes last night and they promised him a call from the installer this morning. We still haven’t heard. The cupboards are taking up more than half of our garage, so they need to get on it already!

I have decided to take the week of Memorial Day off of work as well. I have a comp day saved, so with the paid holiday, I only have to use 3 vacation days. I’m angling to have 10 weeks off after The Bean is born and still have my time off at Thanksgiving and Christmas. So far I am doing ok. 8 weeks until vacation and then 6 more weeks that I plan on working before going out on short term DB. When you break it down like that, it doesn’t sound bad at all, does it? 14 more weeks of work; I think I can do that!