I haven’t thought very much, if at all, about flamingos since her passing 2.5 years ago. Why would I, anyway?
CA and I went to Old Navy over the weekend because I had to return a skirt that was much too big. I told her that she could pick something out instead, and she insisted on getting an outfit for her baby sister. She scoured the baby section picking things up, and putting them down for a good fifteen minutes, until she came upon the perfect items. She picked them up and beamed at me “This Mama! This is for my sister!” She had picked a stuffed pink flamingo along with a short sleeved creeper that has a small flamingo embroidered on the upper left hand side. I asked her why she picked this in particular (she also insisted on buying shoes for the baby….but anyway) and she looked at me and said “This is just what I was looking for!”
I didn’t think much about it until telling my mom what she had bought. I kept saying pelican for some reason, and then said……”no, not a pelican……Gramma’s birds……Flamingos!!” All at once it kind of clicked. She’s watching us. She is looking out for this baby. I have to believe that somehow, she was there when CA picked these things out.
My grandmother never met CA; she died 2 months after she was born. Nobody told me how bad it was; or that it might be close to the end. I was dealing with a 20-month old and a newborn, so even if someone had expressed how serious it was, I don’t know if I would have caught on. My grandmother had what I would call an obsession with baby’s hands. She always told me that they were the most beautiful part of a baby. Soon after she passed away, CA started sleeping with her hands folded delicately by her face. She did it for a few months, and then stopped. Again, I’m sure it was my Gramma.
She loved ED so much, and I can only imagine how great she would have been with CA, my cousin’s baby girl, and our new baby girl. It’s not fair to these girls that they will never know her. Sometimes it surprises me how much I still miss her. It helps to know that she is out there though, watching us, knowing our children, and watching them grow.