Monday, March 17, 2008

Pink Flamingos

My grandmother had a thing about pink flamingos. She didn’t like them at all. I’m not sure who bought her the first one, but it ended up that she had quite a few, the majority of which were kept in her very pink bathroom. It kind of became a family joke, and despite her initial dislike, I’m pretty sure that she grew fond of them over the years.

I haven’t thought very much, if at all, about flamingos since her passing 2.5 years ago. Why would I, anyway?

CA and I went to Old Navy over the weekend because I had to return a skirt that was much too big. I told her that she could pick something out instead, and she insisted on getting an outfit for her baby sister. She scoured the baby section picking things up, and putting them down for a good fifteen minutes, until she came upon the perfect items. She picked them up and beamed at me “This Mama! This is for my sister!” She had picked a stuffed pink flamingo along with a short sleeved creeper that has a small flamingo embroidered on the upper left hand side. I asked her why she picked this in particular (she also insisted on buying shoes for the baby….but anyway) and she looked at me and said “This is just what I was looking for!”

I didn’t think much about it until telling my mom what she had bought. I kept saying pelican for some reason, and then said……”no, not a pelican……Gramma’s birds……Flamingos!!” All at once it kind of clicked. She’s watching us. She is looking out for this baby. I have to believe that somehow, she was there when CA picked these things out.

My grandmother never met CA; she died 2 months after she was born. Nobody told me how bad it was; or that it might be close to the end. I was dealing with a 20-month old and a newborn, so even if someone had expressed how serious it was, I don’t know if I would have caught on. My grandmother had what I would call an obsession with baby’s hands. She always told me that they were the most beautiful part of a baby. Soon after she passed away, CA started sleeping with her hands folded delicately by her face. She did it for a few months, and then stopped. Again, I’m sure it was my Gramma.


CA at 6 months


She loved ED so much, and I can only imagine how great she would have been with CA, my cousin’s baby girl, and our new baby girl. It’s not fair to these girls that they will never know her. Sometimes it surprises me how much I still miss her. It helps to know that she is out there though, watching us, knowing our children, and watching them grow.

10 comments:

Nowheymama said...

Why do you want to make me cry?

Beautiful post.

Saly said...

Sarah--I know! The question is why do I want to make myself cry. At work no less.

This felt good to write though.

Thanks

bananafana said...

oh what a beautiful picture - and the perfect post for me today. I'm feeling a little "done" with worrying about this pregnancy today and very sad about it. I'm trying to keep in mind the end result . . .

LoriD said...

What a beautiful post, Saly. And look at baby CA - what a doll!

I always believed my Grandma was with us after Lisa was born. Lisa would smile, giggle and reach out to something in thin air when she was very small. It was comforting to think my Grandma was somehow there, entertaining her.

bethany said...

*sniff*

I remember the last time I saw Gramma, we talked about CA and how she couldn't wait to see her. I knew, that day, that she wouldn't be with us much longer. I wish I could've told you.

We have her kitchen table in our kitchen, and sometimes I tell J how much Gramma would've loved to play with her under it or see her little hands grabbing onto it. I know our girls would've loved her, and she would've loved them. I hope she's watching them grow from heaven, even if she's not here.

Misty said...

This is so sweet. Someday I want to be the granny with the flamingos who is the guardian angel to all the little babies.

Ok. Now I am going to cry. Today has been so hard. Thanks for the bit of perspective.

Jess said...

This is so sweet. How touching that CA chose to pick something for the baby instead of for herself in the first place, and then that she would choose your grandma's bird. It's nice to feel like she's with you in that way.

Emily said...

That was a really great post. The picture is adorable too.

mom of the year said...

That is so sweet. Grandmas have a way of looking out for us; I'm convinced as well for a multitude of reasons...

Mommy Daisy said...

I love that CA picked out a new outfit for her baby sister. And how ironic and sweet that it reminded you so much of your grandmother. And that photo of CA sleeping as a sweet little baby *sniff* is adorable. I can't wait to see a photo of the new baby in her cute outfit!