2. People who conveniently have health issues related to their pregnancy on Mondays and Fridays because they know their boss can’t write them up……all I have to say is my ass is here. And no, I won’t write you up. But your life will be hell come Monday.
3. Also, please don’t call in to my voicemail when you know I’m not even here yet and say that you need a personal day today and that if there is a problem, I should call you. No. It is not my job to call you and tell you to get your ass in here or be written up. It is your job to be here. And if you can’t be bothered to come in to work, I can’t be bothered to call you at home and coddle you or try and bribe you in to coming in. You can look out for me on Monday too. I have the whole weekend to stew.
4. Furthermore, anyone calling in the day after our holiday party, that’s right, all 3 people, need to look out for me come next week.
5. Speaking of the Christmas party, I was grilled on why I was just drinking Sprite. Now there is wild speculation that oh.my.GAWD she’s having another baby. Shut up and mind your own business. Just because I don’t get obliterated in the middle of a snow storm when I have a 30 minute drive home does not mean that I am with child. (even thought I am.
6. Damn these Italian Christmas Cookies that keep ending up on my desk. I’ve eaten like
7. My husband is less than thrilled with my lack of desire as of late. I honestly could not care less. I am thisclose to moving out to the couch so that the thought doesn’t even enter his mind. I feel like I should care that I’m disappointing him, but in truth, I just don’t.
8. Did I mention that my mother-in-law is a soothsayer? She asked Hub whether or not I was pregnant. She just has a feeling. She always has feelings. Like the house just got really cold so someone must have died, feelings. We’ve decided to never tell her now. We’re not giving her the satisfaction.
9. This half decaf coffee is just.not.cutting.it.
10. Could someone else please wrap the gifts and make the hot pepper dip and Oreo cheesecake for our party tomorrow? Could you do the shopping I haven’t done too? And maybe pack a bag for the kids? Thanks!