Something happens to me when I’m pregnant. A nice way to say it would be that I like to run my mouth, but really there’s a lot more to it. In addition to running my mouth I have a tendency to live with NO FEAR, (a la Tessie) and maybe put myself in a situation that could have some consequences.
Generally, it’s just the mouth running, which I will get in to later. But today, I could have been killed in the Tim Horton’s parking lot. I pulled in, as normal, where it’s a straight shot to the drive thru. As I was pulling in, a truck was wrapping around the building trying to get in too. I let him go in front of me, as he was legitimately first. Then, the shit of a guy behind him tried to sneak in too. I refused to stand for it and jammed my way in front of him. I looked him in the eye and mouthed “mother fucker”. He was obviously pissed. I refused to look away and stared at him until I was fully in the drive thru and placing my order. I’m pretty sure that if he hadn’t had a chick in the car with him, he’d have gotten out. I’d have gotten out too. No worries.
So here are some lessons others have learned over the course of my 2.03 pregnancies:
*Don’t mess with me in the drive thru
*If I send you a meeting invite detailing the meeting room, don’t ask me 5 minutes before “where are we meeting?” because I will ream you a new one.
*Stop calling Facilities about the heat.
*I will tell you constantly that your behavior is causing me to go in to premature labor.
*I will run my mouth at inappropriate times and expect you to act like it’s no big deal.
*I will also inexplicably burst in to tears over a pre-baby photo. (This one to be exact taken the spring before we got married)
I hope you all will be able to live with me until August.
In other news, I have convinced my husband to hold off on telling the family until after I’ve been to the Dr. which is January 2nd. I didn’t even necessarily have concerns about saying anything early, but I don’t know if I’m prepared for the reaction of “Oh my god, a 3rd??!!” or “don’t you know how this happens by now?” as if it were some sort of accident, yet. Not to mention that the first thing out of my mother’s mouth will probably have something to do with how small our house is and how will we possibly fit 6 people in it. Nevermind that we’ve been slowly remodeling for the last 5 years, and that moving does not fit in to our 10 year plan. We will make it work; we are adults.
We are still freaking out hardcore about boy’s names, but I think, THINK, that we have settled on Abby if it’s a girl. (this totally means it will be a boy)
My work Christmas party is tonight and we are having a terrific snow storm. Should be interesting. I’m not even going home in between but this means that I will not see the kiddos until tomorrow morning. (frown) This also means hub has to bathe them both and put them in bed. (GRIN!)
Speaking of bathing---I had a minor panic attack about having to bathe 3 children. I hate bath time more than you could imagine. I’m thinking it’s time to get ED in to showers. I also realized that Hub will be in California the 1st week in September. And I will be home alone. With 3 children. One who will be up to eat at all hours of the night.
Calgon, take me away!!!
Generally, it’s just the mouth running, which I will get in to later. But today, I could have been killed in the Tim Horton’s parking lot. I pulled in, as normal, where it’s a straight shot to the drive thru. As I was pulling in, a truck was wrapping around the building trying to get in too. I let him go in front of me, as he was legitimately first. Then, the shit of a guy behind him tried to sneak in too. I refused to stand for it and jammed my way in front of him. I looked him in the eye and mouthed “mother fucker”. He was obviously pissed. I refused to look away and stared at him until I was fully in the drive thru and placing my order. I’m pretty sure that if he hadn’t had a chick in the car with him, he’d have gotten out. I’d have gotten out too. No worries.
So here are some lessons others have learned over the course of my 2.03 pregnancies:
*Don’t mess with me in the drive thru
*If I send you a meeting invite detailing the meeting room, don’t ask me 5 minutes before “where are we meeting?” because I will ream you a new one.
*Stop calling Facilities about the heat.
*I will tell you constantly that your behavior is causing me to go in to premature labor.
*I will run my mouth at inappropriate times and expect you to act like it’s no big deal.
*I will also inexplicably burst in to tears over a pre-baby photo. (This one to be exact taken the spring before we got married)
I hope you all will be able to live with me until August.
In other news, I have convinced my husband to hold off on telling the family until after I’ve been to the Dr. which is January 2nd. I didn’t even necessarily have concerns about saying anything early, but I don’t know if I’m prepared for the reaction of “Oh my god, a 3rd??!!” or “don’t you know how this happens by now?” as if it were some sort of accident, yet. Not to mention that the first thing out of my mother’s mouth will probably have something to do with how small our house is and how will we possibly fit 6 people in it. Nevermind that we’ve been slowly remodeling for the last 5 years, and that moving does not fit in to our 10 year plan. We will make it work; we are adults.
We are still freaking out hardcore about boy’s names, but I think, THINK, that we have settled on Abby if it’s a girl. (this totally means it will be a boy)
My work Christmas party is tonight and we are having a terrific snow storm. Should be interesting. I’m not even going home in between but this means that I will not see the kiddos until tomorrow morning. (frown) This also means hub has to bathe them both and put them in bed. (GRIN!)
Speaking of bathing---I had a minor panic attack about having to bathe 3 children. I hate bath time more than you could imagine. I’m thinking it’s time to get ED in to showers. I also realized that Hub will be in California the 1st week in September. And I will be home alone. With 3 children. One who will be up to eat at all hours of the night.
Calgon, take me away!!!
7 comments:
i had to make a follow-up doctor's appointment for O the other day and I'm still getting a sick stomach over it - it will be a month after the baby is born and I don't know how I can get 2 kids in my car because I am a scared little wuss right now.
I'm bitchy when pregnant and take no shit - people high-fived when they found out I was having another and they're been throwing their bosses in my path left and right to see if I'll start a fight. I've been much better behaved so far this time though
Aren't hormones a crazy thing? My family stopped playing games with me about 3 months before I had my son. I guess I was getting pretty mean about it. *blush*
Don't worry, we'll put up with you.
I can understand not wanting to tell your family yet. But you are right, you are the ones dealing with it and they have no right to say anything.
Yikes, I hope the week in Sept alone goes well. That is precisely why I'm waiting a few more months to even THINK about triyng to get pregnant. My husband will be in Africa for 2 WHOLE WEEKS in October. I fear having a newborn (and a toddler) alone for that whole time. Or being REALLY pregnant with my husband that far away (and the closest family over an hour drive from here). So, we'll try to wait. ;)
As far as bathing 3 kids, maybe you can put them on a rotation. Then you don't have to worry about ALL of them in the same night. COuld work, but what do I know.
I am SO looking forward to reading your snarky posts from now til August. Seriously. Only cause I'm not on the receiving end of the snark, but still.
I find that stress dampens my nervous tummy to the point where I can totally turn bitch too.
I was one of those people who DREADED telling people I was pregnant. I didn't want all the attention and the comments and advice and AHHHHHHHHHHH.
Scott said that he was going to start saying, "No, we don't know how this happens. Please explain it to us," if people didn't stop with the stupid comments.
Also, we only had a girl name this time, and it is a girl. You never know.
I can tell I'm going to love you MORE THAN EVER while you're pregnant.
I hate those announcement-response remarks, too. What I do to avoid them is this: "I have WONDERFUL news. We didn't want to say anything until we were sure, but we were hoping so much....." Pause here with sparkling, ideally brimming eyes. Then say, "We're due in [month]!" It doesn't TOTALLY work, but it cues SOME people that (1) this is good news and they should respond accordingly, and (2) it was planned (even if it wasn't).
I am not fond of bathtime either. The two older kids are 6 and 8 and can take showers, which helps hugely. The littles, what I do is I put the twins in the tub and have Paul watch them. Then I come in, dip Henry in the water and wash him quick, then go dress him. Then I come wash the twins. Do it fast, like ripping off a bandaid.
May I say that Swistle is a *genius*?
That is EXACTLY what you should say to everyone.
And I love that picture of you. I wish I had one of me like that. You look so free.
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